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Falling

Were I a stronger man

I would have prayed

Prayed for strength

Prayed for release from my selfishness

But I am not so blessed

 

...we met in rain

 

Amid storm-struck clouds

Her wind-whipped eyes were silver grey

And wetly shining

 

It kills me now

To see in them pain

But see it I must

Again and again

 

... my want is endless

 

Were I a nobler man

I would have walked away

I would have let her go

… instead of begging her to stay

 

Instead we talked ...

 

Became one with rain

Amidst the thunder and the storming

Warmlywe  explored until light of day

And then her wings began to fray ...

 

…and she was fallen

 

If I were a smarter man

I would have known

A spirit captured sinks like stone

How sometimes some things

Cannot be owned

 

... but I'm a fool, my ignorance endless

 

Upon the jagged rocks of her unmaking

Witness to the darkness falling

Whispers promised on the wind ... clipped her 

... of her calling

 

Naked, scarred

Never more immortal

Heaven lost ... she foresakened

Marked by sin I live encumbered by the thought

 

... of all I've taken

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • Amanda 88
    December 13, 2007
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    Well written, you did a good job with this poem!!!! keep up the good work!


  • momentary visions
    December 13, 2007
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    This poem trapped me and pulled me down in the darkness with it as I read. It was a very moving vision of regret of an action but more vividly regret of human nature. Emotions tear the reigns of control too easily it seems. Our only consolation is the moment we'll never forget. Well done.


  • Crook Oneil
    October 15, 2007

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    well written! i really enjoyed the imagry and emotion, especially the feeling of responsability conveyed. well done!

  • vacant lot
    October 14, 2007

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    Until light of day
    Until her wings began to fray ... and
    Upon the jagged rocks of her unmaking were amazing lines. The rhyming seemed so subtle I hardly noticed it, it fits right in. Good luck in your contests.


    • malkinpuss
      October 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      leftwithit

      I cannot thank you enough for reading and leaving a comment on this poem. It really meant a lot to me. Thanks!


  • No.Longer.Bleeding
    October 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow, that's definitely powerful. sounds so intriguing and you definitely use detail and thinking to bring in the reader! AWESOME!

    Monica <3


    • malkinpuss
      October 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      ATCiFoundHim09

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read my work. Your comment was so appreciated!


  • ApostolicChild
    October 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Intense. I love it! Very well-written. I hope to read more of your poems. I especially like the part about being a nobler man. Wonderful write!


    • malkinpuss
      October 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      ApostolicChild

      Thanks so much for reading and for your very kind comment!


  • Ted E Bare gold member
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It's easy to fall for such a graceful angel of rain, I know I once had with my own Rain Girl. Beautifully written. I want to thank you for entering my "Goddess of Rain" contest.

    Ted E


  • wmike145
    July 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Man, this flows incredible. I was actually reading out loud about halfway through. You have to like a contest where you can write about what inspires you from a picture. Everyone will have their own twist, and you my friend, squeezed the juice right out of this one. Good luck in the trophy chase.


    • malkinpuss
      July 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Hi!

      Gee wmike145...thanks so much for your words...made my day!

1 - 14 of 14