I Wish It Cpuld Be Over (meaning my insecurity around guys)

Shy  girl
can't find any words
cuz baby he had me at hello
totally floored
don't know where to go

Close my eyes
count to ten
wish it could be over
but  then awkwardness happens all over again

Same story  different person
expression of my feelings can not be found
because  rejection  has always been my enemy
on this battlefield of love and lust

Tenative kisses faded on  the lips
of the receivier
they were tenative on my end
in the beginning
but  my redemption has been found
from those hard times

Shy girl
always the wall flower
waiting for that special guy
to ask  her to dance
but  he never comes
that's why dances are never half as fun
as they should be for her

Shy girl
always in the shadows of those
girls who should be supermodels
or just have the looks to be as such
they always get what they want

Close my eyes
count to ten
wish it could be over
but the awakwardness happens all over again

You're probably beginning  to
wonder what I'm wishing to be over
so  badly
it's that awkwardness around guys
that teenage mindset that
still exists in  an almost 22 year old body (2 months away and don't forget 8/26 @ 6:57 pm  i never do  )
Rejection was never kind to me
all through  high school and even now.

It's like a part of personality
doesn't want to leave me
cuz back then  I was a shy girl
not  knowing what to say


and  it is quite possible
that  I am still like that
that shy quiet  observer
watching the couples pass by  in the courtyard
that  shy quiet girl
going after the rockstar type
or  the rockstar wanna be type
and yes I'm talking about guitar players

  Close my eyes
and count to ten
I just  want it all the be over
all this awkwardness
only then  will  I  break
free from the shadows
and be able to find true love.