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Trance

The  tweaked body locked;
indoors, hollow, yet full of mind;

 lost
to emotions,creeping,crawling,pumping
through my veins;

Spaced
with unclear visions sounds that
cackle to my ears, full of
drumming like echoes of a tribal dance
language

I hear words, meanings unclear
A constitution of beats
my body swaying to the sound, lulling
swaying, humming to the beat;
harmonizing the aching pit, soothing
this vacant soul

Replica,

 a picture on a wall;
the perfect image, a persona ideal
Snapped,

 grins intact forever to look upon
to ponder, this image there stance

reality, or simply a trance

Please tell me what you think.,. I am terrible at editing...

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Comments


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    June 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to allpoetry

    This is pretty good. I would suggest either centering it on the page or try evening out the lines a little and perhaps breaking it up into stanzas. Just reading this I fall into the rhythm of the words and feel entranced by it. Thanks for the read.

    I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.

    God Bless
    Tammy