Between reluctant taxis and the stars,
Through darkened streets we trawled the night’s display,
A wintered crystal web of late night bars,
Which guided and defined the dance’s sway.
In strangers faces formed the Kabaret,
Their speech became the script whereon we’d act,
Until the full moon set our wits astray
And sent us on, through landscapes inexact.
A masquerade of lunacy, untracked
Until the morning threatened each disguise;
While through the mist, reporting myth as fact,
Reluctant dawn devoured our last reprise.
Then, parting with a kiss, the curtain fell
And day resumed, cocooned within night's spell.
Author notes
revised
A contest entry
- BATTLE OF THE SONNETS ROUND 3 by mamad.
750 points, ended July 3, 2007, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Well done, the night does not tell what it sees, but you do. The rhyming is subtle and the meter is exact, excellent work. Congratulations on your trophy.
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In strangers faces formed the Kabaret,
Their speech became the script whereon we’d act,
These are my favorite lines for some reason.
I don't totally remember the difference between this and the first half- but the differences I do notice I like better. -
I like how ou told a story using this form. I would never have thought of it. For some reason I imagined myself in a taxi moving through the streets of NYC as I read this, with all the night events ect. This is very tenderly written, and would make a good two minute silent scene in movie I think because the imagry is so good.
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read and scored
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