They caught me with my panties down
And on my face frustrations frown,
And in my hand my engorged prod.
They had always told me at sunday school
Each week as I sat on my wooden stool
About the lamb of god
Now it's true I didn't listen much
To the finer details, facts and such
I often got the rod!
It just seems to me the world is mad
To get closer to our holy dad
And his saintly squad
So on this sabbath I skipped mass
And found myself a field - full of grass
Where I planned to get closer to god.
Divine inspiration burst forth in this place
I found it staring me square in the face
Where I thought I was on my todd!
Before me I beheld the lamb
And by instinct knew that I should ram
This lamb - the lamb of god!
So closer and closer I got to him
His passion filling me to the brim
Down here on the sod
But mass let out before I was done
Lead by the sunday school teaching nun
Toward my divine green quad
The women ran and shrieked in disgust
The men winced as I strongly thrust
Into this lamb (of god?)
'Twas then they decided that crucifixion
Would be my rightful punishing conviction
For taking the lamb roughshod
They would not hear the explanation
Of my innovative attempt at divine salvation
With this the lamb of god
So now I hang here by these nails
I'll spare you the rest of the gory details
But at least I'm closer to god!
Eh?
Author notes
My sarcastic write on the big drive to get 'closer to god' that seems to be infecting people as of late!
A contest entry
- Ace's "Truly in bad taste" contest. by AceOSpades.
900 points, ended July 3, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I'm a bit uncertain about rhyming "dad" and "squad" - unless of course you are from New Zealand, where anyhing could rhyme with everything as they can't tell their vowels from their bowels.
-
-
Thankfully I have the good fortune not to be from New Zealand! However squad was not meant to rhyme with dad - Throughout the poem the third line of each stanza rhymes while in each individual stanza the first two lines rhyme with each other.
I hope this helps -
-
I mistook the rhyming! God/squad is obviously fine! I thought you had gone for dad/squad which is crap. Sorry for the confusion. I don't think this poem is bad taste at all. You want religious bad taste? Try the poems of "Mad Pastor Grovell" .... Applaud wildly.
-
-
I have discovered the mad pastor just recently - I must say he spreads the word (whatever word that may be) in a very novel way!!
And his religious poetry is astounding! But more so I love to read the comments people leave him!!! hilarity at its best!
-
-
-
Adding your comment:
