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an endless cremation

the fire stood higher and higher
atop its pile of paper tigers

as the moon inhaled and coughed

the stars, loyal and without a doubt
took the place of those smoked out

-

the moon distracted
the stars re-casted

and the fire stood higher and higher

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • ecrivain01
    February 8, 2008

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    This is an interesting write ...

    but it reminds me of an acid trip. I'm not at all sure that's what you intended, but anyway it's a good poem no matter how you take it.


  • rendezvous
    November 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    You know...

    I wish you'd write again.


  • naked roots
    June 28, 2007

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    This reminds me of a party I was at not too long ago.
    Loved the image of the "moon inhaled and coughed", and ahhh yes...the stars, they are loyal!
    Excellent poem. Creatively written


  • Tangled Angle
    June 27, 2007

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    'paper tiger' is what my cousin Mark calls his one friend. lol

    Great poem, as usual. Good luck to you.