Deep is the pain on my face, by your death
Eyes swollen from my tormented cries
The lines embedded like rivers of sorrow
The emotions killing me from the inside out
Pale anguish upon my cheeks like ghosts
Sunken are my eyes with these sleepless nights
A zombie look of a trans limbo state
Despair dementedly upon my face
Leaving the deep scares beneath my skin
As my hands cover my face to hide my shattered soul
In a list
A contest entry
- treasure chest for quickie prewrites by DancingRed.
300 points, ended July 9, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I don't usually care for gory dark poetry, but I must say you've got many good descriptions going here. Some seem a little clichéd, but the last line really reaches home.
Great work & thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
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That is truly awesome. I dont think I could have said this better. Your words were perfect and breathtaking. You know how to connect with your reader. Yuo can really convey your thoughts.Despair dementedly upon your my face.Leaving the deep scars beneath my skin.As my hands cover my face to hide my shattered soul. Immaculate!!!!
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AH My friend this was just a quick write of face expresses, it took me about 5 minutes. I am honored by your comments, they make me feel so wonderful inside, Thank you My friend
(LISA)
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Oh how deeply poignant and profound this is! Wow!
I felt the soul's anguish...
Well done!
Thank you for sharing and for being a part of the contest!!!! -
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Thank you dear for your wonderful review and for running great contests. Sometimes I am not quick enough to enter be I still enjoy reading the quick writes. Thank you again Your the queen of quickies (LISA)
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