An old and grey doll -
left in the attic with dust,
Now plastic is king.
Author notes
A haiku - 15 words about toys.
This poem is a little cliché. Actually, it is extremely so, but that is what you get for writing a very rigid poem style in a set number of words in a dreadfully short time.
A contest entry
- 10 is 10 is suddenly 15 - wordy prompty :P (Click ME!!) by AliceinPoetryLand.
300 points, ended June 26, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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How is this piece clichéd, aside from sicking to the set guidelines of a haiku ?
At first read, I would have guessed that this was about finding something of sentimental or monetary value.
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A clichéd sentiment, I feel.
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Then you are the doll ?
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Not at all. I'm the one who put her there and forgot.
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So it is the clichéd feeling of happiness through rediscovery(?)
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The cliché is, I feel, the entire theme of regarding the past with rose tinted spectacles (to use another cliché ). To have lost and rediscovered a doll (real or metaphorical) in the face of plastic (real or metaphorical) is a tediously repetitive theme in both literature and life. Which of course amounts to the same thing, as art mirrors the spectator, and life therefore mirrors art.
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Ahhh, just being nostalgic, I get it now.
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This just so true - of life as well as of dolls. A splendid haiku in the classic (and ONLY) form of 5,7,5. Beautifully executed.
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Just a thought...you might have offered a contrast to plastic, like "a porcelain doll" or an "old, gray ragdoll"...otherwise, quite nice, actually.
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Thanks for the comment - we were limited in words - 15 only, and also limited by the haiku form. It was quite hard to fit the two together coherently!
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Oh, this is nice! I disagree about it being cliché. Perhaps the theme has been done before, but that doesn't necessarily make it cliché. It goes deeper than the immediate subject matter, and it avoids the sentimentality that this type of theme could very easily invite.
The language is blunt and straightforward, which I really like. I enjoy a pretty phrase as much as the next person, but in this case the language is appropriate to the theme, and I can't think of a way to end this sentence!
Anyway, very nice piece.
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I like this haiku! It's so small but it has so much feeling. It's like... a memory that comes and goes.
^_^
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Thank you for commenting. I'm glad you could find so much feeling in the poem.
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nice poem!
lots of feeling in such a small poem. Like a forgotten thought or dream that you discover later on.
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Thanks for your comment. It's not one of my best poems though.
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so true
but that old grey doll means so much more
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I know - I still love my old doll but she is floppy and saggy now. My Gran made her for me whan I was one...
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lovely, short but very poignant
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Short but sweet!unfortunately true but thats what happens when we go through stages, lose intersets and gain new ones.
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Interesting. I like it.
Good luck to you.
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very very beautiful!
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now plastic is king... good one.
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Oh so sad but so true
Very thoughfully penned. Lovely.
Gaylene
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