At dawn, bare footed, viewing as far as eyes can reach,
the water's edge advances and recedes along the beach.
Before me I see a carpet of half-buried shells,
tide washed and rippled in sodden sand along the beach.
I move, exploring, wet sand oozing between my toes,
beyond me the wavelets breaking on the sand along the beach.
Behind me, my wandering trail is blurred and indistinct,
as the water's edge advances and recedes along the beach.
At mid-day, on the soft dry sand behind the water's edge,
undressed worshippers lie in the sun that beats down along the beach.
At night, the moon's reflection at the water's edge
resembles sea serpents playing in the wavelets along the beach.
Author notes
Option number 1 - a ghazal
AP name - Shenton
Number of poems written - 1621
Age - 88
I love poetry
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A contest entry
- **10 Options within 10 options, Enjoy** by Hebz.
575 points, ended July 4, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I like variety so I'm giving you lots of options! by the evil angel.
475 points, ended August 27, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The repetition of the word beach gets a bit annoying after a while. I like the fact that it's the last line of every stanza, but if you're going to do that you should have longer stanzas. As of now, the word beach becomes annoying to the reader about half way in the poem. Other than that, I really like it. Either make the stanzas longer or take out some of the repetition. One of those two. Do that and it'll be perfect
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The ghazal was developed in Persia in the 10th century A D, and consists of a series of 4 to 10 couplets (usually 7) each couplet being an independent poem in itself.
The common factor between the couplets is the ‘refrain’, which is a word or a phrase of two or three words.
The refrain occurs at the end of both lines in the first couplet, and is then repeated at the end of the second line of each succeeding couplet.
Traditionally, the last line of the last couplet includes the poet’s name or pen-name, but this is optional in modern day ghazals which are still being written in Iran, Pakistan, India and, less frequently, in English speaking countries where some critics find boring the repetition
of the refrain.
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Re-read the rules real quick. You're missing a few stuff in your AN... don't scan the rules, really read them
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