I have written over 100 poems about Natalie, and this one will be my last. This is the complete story of Natalie and I. It's quite long, but that is because of our crazy history. For those of you who didn't really quite understand the whole story, this is the whole story. Enjoy...
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I. Condensation
Warm energy and water collided
causing chemistry to combust,
transforming into mist,
pleasant with romantic serenities,
and pursed lips locking.
Heat waves howled
to midnight’s moon
as stars shined-
rewound reminiscing of memories,
so we grew closer
becoming vapor.
II. First Break- up
Among the air waves
water went through insecurity
and let go of heat,
falling down as hail
from evening storms;
sky’s maelstrom
made it seem
like our world
collapsed
into cold fronts.
Bitterness basked
in ocean’s icecaps
of enigmatic emotions.
III. Betrayed by a Brother
Epiphany strikes
thoughts of mistakes made;
a burden that
never
disappeared.
Yet I heard it through
the plasma webs;
a friend told me
of you and Chris…
Amazing how a best friend
can suddenly turn the cheek
that screams two- face;
phony facades placed upon
those smiles,
supposedly symbolizing
‘friendship.’
Whatever happened to him
telling me that
he liked Tiffany?
Three girls asked out
in one school day,
two no's and one yes.
Approval from my Natalie.
I cringe at such irony...
IV. Smog
A year went by.
Natalie went her way
in the woods,
burned a forest,
and a few bridges too.
Unexpected couple
forming smoke,
how lovely.
I cough at it’s perfection
with a smirk and
watery eyes.
Irony pollutes my world
like red- raging infernos
that remind me of rage
as you kiss him.
Now
you are just…
contaminated.
V. Karma could Kill...
He didn’t feed
your
desire-
he was never
what you wanted.
You fed
his
desire,
his ego, his reputation.
He had “Tyler’s girl”
Yet popularity was my demise,
your demise,
our...
demise.
Newsflash!-
he cheated on you
with his dance partner.
What goes around
comes around
after all…
VI. Passion Remains
I still loved you though,
even though Erika
was a lovely girl,
no one could compare
to you though…
still, no matter how
naïve you were,
I still seemed to love you.
Yet in that moment my
thoughts seemed to be clear,
but pollution was in the air,
intoxicating me.
Pieces of Chris were
still with you, his saliva
still somewhere
on your lips…
but I still loved you.
I still…
loved you.
VII. Deceiving Eyes
Hope’s sun shined
upon my heart
and my mind,
memories…so powerful
brought me back to you,
as we stand face to face.
I look in those hazel eyes,
with burning embers of beauty
inside and outside,
as we join hands
once again-
five months go by-
only to go through
déjà vu.
VIII. Unexpected...
Somewhere in the hurt,
security found
its home within ourselves,
and memories brought us
back together again,
we never hugged
in so long,
and for so long.
Three passionate months
passed by…
how time flies when
one is happy.
Yet you released me
out of nowhere...
IX. Evolution
Three months
after it happened,
my regrets still remain
like winter, cold
without fire burning
passion inside.
No rain this time around,
thunder clouds only come
after lightning strikes,
leaving water behind…
Subzero temperatures collapsing
like my being.
I am falling faster
into depression,
faster than I ever fell
for you.
Rock bottom hit,
and a thud, a few bruises,
but it has made me stronger.
X. Suddenly Optimistic
A memory remains,
and each time another
heat wave comes
I’ll be smarter when it comes
to making
hurricanes...
Author notes
Yes, I am aware that this is long. But I've made this as concise as possible, I think.
BUT
If you have any suggestion Melissa please criticize the hell out of this.
Rowan, if you are around please criticize too.
Anyone else though, please criticize, just don't be stupid. lol
Oh yeah, as for the prompt you gave. It reminded me of how someone feel's after bring dumped out of no where, and I related to it, and here's my story.
A contest entry
- phrased by Melissa Gayle.
1600 points, ended July 15, 2007, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quick Pre-write Contest by Nicole Hanna.
300 points, ended July 9, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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It wasn't as long as I thought actually. Been wanting to read this for a while. Awesome job. I hope you can put it to rest but not end up being bitter and untrusting for the rest of your life like I have been. Your a really great guy and you will find someone who is deserving some day but don't rush it. As far as the poem goes it was excellent. Great metaphor and emotional expression throughout.
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Excellent. There are people that will stay with you forever, this is one of them. Amazing piece of writing Tyler.
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Thanks Melissa, this means a lot to me.
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So, after I read this to get a feel of what you wanted for Challenge four, I'm pretty excited about writing my ow. LOL
These kinds of situations are hard because no matter how many times you tell yourself it's not that big of a deal, you never believe it. I've had experience in this area as well, and it sucks. Four years later, i still think about it. lol Now that's just sad.
But this is strong because of how personal it is. Its relatable and inspiring. I love your challenges. This one is going to be fun. -
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Thanks Khourey
And yeah, that kind of stuff takes a while to get over. I hear you. lol
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Like the only thing I could find possibly wrong is the roman numerals and its not wrong because it can be done either way but 9 is also IX, thats the only criticism I could think of, great write, passionate!
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Thanks! I wasn't so sure about 9 either... I changed it to IX... it just looks better. lol
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it wasn't as long as you made it out to be or maybe I just didn't think it was that long because it is beautifully written. This is really well done.
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Thank you.
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Haha, I know you were worried about the length, but in all honesty, it certainly didn't feel like it was 200 and some odd lines long. In fact, I read through it from start to finish withot scrolling down the page to see how much more there was (which I tend to do with the longer writes). So never fear, it was well done
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lol Thanks.
*does some strange celebration dance*
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Tyler, it's really great! That's all I can say.
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Thanks Ida.
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First of all, let me say: WHAT A FUCKING BE-OTCH! Trust me, girls are really complicated, I've had my fair share of this, but yours is worse...
Just let me say that it is interesting to finally know the whole story about Natalie. It makes me want to skim through a couple of your poems about her again and maybe I can make even more sense, but somehow you have all the poems bottled up into won epic tale her.
When you said you were gonna write the whole story I though "okay, so he'll just make it a simple poem." But no, I was guillible, lmao you threw in powerful imagery, emotion and amazing useful metaphor and wicked phrasing, awesome flow.
Geez this poem should win a grammy (erm, poemie ) for most tragic poem.
Anyways I think I speak for all when I say at least your optimistic and stay happy in the ending. Sad ending but at least you still have optimism.
Ryan
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Thanks a million Ryan.
Yeah, that wasn't even the whole story too. I don't remember if I put it in there, but she PLAYED me too. She never loved me, she crushing on Joe the whole time.
Oh well. He doesn't even like her, seriously, natalie would try and talk to him and he would barely say anything back to her.
Joe ain't a fool. lol
A poemie? Sounds wickedly awesome. And for most tragic poem? Ugh.. maybe I should slap some dirty pretty on it and maybe then I would win. -
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lol its weird to talk to someone and have it sound almost exactly like my school
you probably should've putten it there, i wanted the WHOLE story remember what other secrets are you keeping
Yes ! A poemie! LETS DO IT! We can hand out poemies for many different catagoeries
no, no dirty pretty it is perfectly fine the way it is
actually, I am beginning to respect some dirty pretty writers, as much as Chase and them dont like them ...
oh my god!
I smell MacDonalds!
from outside my window! and Im in the middle of the country
what the hell happened to the cow shit?
oh well im not complaining -
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I originally had it in there, however I felt the whole 'it was a lie' concept pretty much said what that story was about.
Also, the whole concept makes the poet wonder 'what was the lie about?' and maybe think deeper.
not to mention, that part didn't fit in with the imagery. It was too straight forward and wordy. I had to omit it. lol
I will seriously start a poemie thing or whatever. That would be quite interesting. BUT how? If you come up with something.. seriously, I'll go with it. [why not?] It'll be fun!
McDonald's = murderers.
DON'T EAT IT
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hmmm well the makes sense I suppose lol
no worries I don't eat MacDonalds, Wendy is my bitch, remember? lmao
well I seriously do have an idea for the poemie thing but I decided to scrap it a while back because i didnt think i would get any help
what we do is we post a contest with the list of poemie catagoeries
and since so many people think their poetry is great when its not... we get other people to nominate other poems
like if one of the catageories was say..."best quickie" then the people in the contest would post a link to what poem they think is the best quickie, with the catagoerie posted too
and then, as comments to the link, they have to get at least 3 other AP personal to say that they 2nd, 3rd, and 4th the nomination
any poems that are fully nominated are posted in the preliminary finalists
and then the judges just vote on the poems they liked the most for Gold, Silver Bronze
but we will have like a 700 point award, so people are more likely to nomiate people (because if we like the poem they nominated they have a chance of winning a trophy
and then in the official judging, all the judges read each of the poems and based on rubrics select a winner for each catagoery
and then we can hand them out to people somehow -
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lol Wendy is a whore.
But her cheeseburgers are pretty good!
You have to dip the french fries in her chocolate milkshake though. Soooo awesome man!
As for poemie.. Sounds like a great idea.
Categories:
Best Dark Poem
Best Love Poem
Best Hope, society, most inspiring, quicki, multi- round contest poem, gold trophy poem, silver trophy poem, bronze trophy poem, HM trophy poem, etc.. etc..
gosh all the topics we could come up with.
As for erotica, I don't mind judging it. I am mature enough to. How about you though? [i think you are too]
but would it be morally right, is my question. lol -
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ya we can come up with as many catagoeries as we want, but i wanna give out some kinda point award to each of these contestants so we'd have to start some sort of donation pool... i have about 12000 points, 5000 of that for poets survivor and about 3000 for The Amazing Race, Double Trouble (whatever the hell I decided to call in) and then again I always have points coming in somehow
i have no problem judging Erotica, it is a poetry topic and it should be respected
well we'd have to have many different genres of judges too -
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I have about 13000 points right now. 5000 at the least is for the champ. I've no clue how much Teen Idol would be.
I'll chip in points here and there.
So judges I can come up with off of the top of my head.
Melissa Whispered
Cupcrazy
Luckynsincere
Leander
Wbiro
Kaibab
Lavender Shadows
Blackday
etc... etc.. etc..
all the names I could come up with.
Just the thing is some of them are busy. lol
I'm not sure if this summer is a good time to start this though. Next summer would be perfect.
BUT if you absolutely want to do it now then I will work it out. -
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i'd wanna do it sometime after Poets Survivor 2 and before Poets Survivor 3
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the more judges into, for a contest like this, the better
its too bad we cant get the AP public involved it judging without it turning into a popularity contest
Next summer ... I am the most impatient person in the world lmao
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Tyler - this a beautiful love story!!! with an unhappy ending for one!!! I know it had to hurt you, but you won't end up the unhappy one - trust me You were so kind, loving, caring, and thoughtful (trusting) to try again - love seems to know no limits!!! only to find that she is NOT worthy of someone like you! You will find happiness, but someone like Natalie will end up miserable from the burned bridges and lack of caring for feelings. I loved reading it and did not think it too long!!! Such a wonderful, special write!!! Thank you for sharing such an emotional write... I'm sorry !!!, but you deserve so much better than that!!!!! Betsy
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Thank you! That means a lot to me Betsy. And I hope you are right. Take care.
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WOW this is long... long poem I will definetly read it, but I have to run to work in about 2 minutes so I will have to do so when I get back from work tonight or in the morning.
Amy
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