1:54 AM, Inspiration through my insomnia

I think I'm up for the challenge
Making you bleed through my words
A man possessed by a talent
Yet to live up to it's worth

These lyrics spill on my canvas
Displayed for strangers to judge
I've been knocked down, but I'll manage
Yeah I'm bruised, but refuse to budge

Now I'll revert to cliche's like love
I mean lust, whatever it's called
I'm writing about my new born son
Who's not yet old enough to crawl

His Mom and I made love one night
A miracle birthed from tears and pain
He wakes up crying, I hold him tight
But what's going on in his brain?

Just turned 5 months the other day
Every day he wakes up confused
For this little brother I pray
It's like he's being abused

I treat him the way I feel about him
My only reason for even being
But what about when I'm not around him
Who'll cradle him when he's needing

One day his Daddy's by his side
The next I'm no where to be found
He's looking as if I've tried to hide
It's like I've died, I've let him down

His life has barely began to begin
Already he's lived in so many places
Who's his friends, or his next of kin
It's hard to decipher the faces

His mommy drank and she smoked
8 months, until the 9th one came
Thank god he didn't become a ghost
Because I'd be facing the blame

I didn't poison him in the womb
But I couldn't control my anger
His mommy's drinking in hotel rooms
And yeah, she's talking to strangers

The next day it's another fight
I'd never hit her, god knows it's true
The future's a glint in her eye
I try to protect my baby blue

But I can't help but upset her
Because I'm so upset myself
If she fights back, I must let her
I can't forget about baby's health

The story has a happy ending
A picture can say a thousand words
When I say love, I'm not pretending
Faithful to him like he's the church

But still I cry when he smiles
Tomorrow he'll be gone again
Bye bye baby, bout 40 miles
Separates me and my little man

Braden I'm sorry for anything that you heard in the womb
This son became a man the day the doctor entered the room
And proud to say I'm the one who first saw you when you arrived
At night I cry, now that you're mine I realize you could've died
This isn't just for a contest, buddy I'll see you next week
And don't forget sometimes people don't think before they speak
And don't worry I'll be back soon, one day you're gonna understand
That things don't change, scroll down my page and read "A Boy To Raise A Man"
And scroll up to the first few lines within this story I've told
How long until I give up, forget my dreams, fore' I get to old

I love you Braden, and everybody who's seen us together knows that we have a bond that cannot be broken.  How many times did I ignore people's warnings that you're hurting when Mommy and I would fight.  When she would physically and mentally abuse me, my words were actually abusing you.  I remember the voicemail I left the first time Mommy and I broke up, crying and begging her not to get an abortion.  Every time you smile at me my heart melts.  I would give my life for you, and if need be, give up my dreams to make sure that your needs are met.  I love you my handsome man, Love Daddy....