captured
in a glass of water
the sun
***
a bird
scratches its head
feathers drop
***
red hair
on my black dog’s back
a sleeping girl
***
within me
emptiness dancing
who am I ?
***
two dogs bark
attached to short leashes
the masters
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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No matter what you write, someone will find fault with it - can't please everyone all of the time. Nice chain of haiku/senryu you wrote here -
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thank you, erika, for your kind words of defense for my humble haiku ... I was a pure beginner at that time, so some of the criticism is certainly justified ... I don't really mind ... taking classes now to learn how to do it "right" ...
say hello to the crow from me ...
marion
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This isn't made of haikus, they're supposed to be 17 syllables and three lines each...
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I liked the first, fourth and fifth of the sequence, but cannot say the same about the second and the third for some reason of the other. The quiet mood of the first three pieces is suddenly shattered by the dogs fighting making you jump. Good impact there. The clamour is replaced once again by a feeling of emptiness--beautiful impact once again.
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okay, I made the dogs bark instead of fight ... how's that ?
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Superb ending.....infact it is just related to me....ghosh I am so not happy!
Just came to heal myself on your pages. thanks for the imagery
A
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