there is a calmness in calamity
breaching breaths of air
reach to tip the bottom over
flowing blue and liquid clear
we are swimming through
this nothingness
with the ease and strength
of ten thousand pounds of lead
A contest entry
- 24 Hour Contest :The Rent is Due... by Nicole Hanna.
600 points, ended June 26, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Nice
the poem is very nice..reach to tip the bottom over..but about the last two line..I dont undrerstand...I am not sur..if you mean, we pay the price of being dead and silent?
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Thanks for your comment. Yeah finality does seem like it goes well near the end, haha. I debated on adding anything more but I just had nothing more to add, everything else felt awkward. "Breaching" is actually the correct spelling, but don't feel bad because I wasn't sure about it after you said that, I ended up having to check with Dictionary.com, haha. I'm usually really good at spelling but I occasionally just butcher words.
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Such a finality to the tone at the end. Suitable considering it occurs at the end of the poem, eh? lol. I think "breaching" should be "breeching"? But I'm really not sure. lol. I'm a horrible speller, so probably the wrong person to point things like that out (but I'm also highly OCD, so can't help myself lol). At any rate, the last two lines are my favorite.
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