Living in a concrete jungle, always looking up
trying to free myself in skies melted to roof tops
walking straight ahead,
I ignore the drunk sleeping in a doorway
and the fat cop ticketing abandoned cars
as I turn the corner,
a 15 year old hooker winks at me
it’s just another day
I think,
new shoes.
Short Verse
A contest entry
- 24 Hour Contest :The Rent is Due... by Nicole Hanna.
600 points, ended June 26, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite/new? by Melissa Gayle.
800 points, ended September 20, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I really love that image "skies melted to roof tops" very cool!
The ending, yeah, I suppose it is just another day. A short little ditty but it is well done and the words are well placed. -
The mundane of everyday life in urban jungles is life I suppose. And it's distressing to dwell upon sometimes too. Keep one eye strait ahead and one on shoes avioding eye contact.I feel through your verse. The harshness in metaphore in concrete.The wish that kid could be redirected and helped off the mean streets.And the methodical duty of the cop placing tow tickets that tax payers pay for.It's all too real and so odd, this life.
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Isn't that the way!!
Well done. I am enjoying this new you that has blossomed from a spell in the poetic land of AP. You truely are a great poet.
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I have been reading so many excellent poems from you lately - this is great...lol...I love it
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as I turn the corner,
a 15 year old hooker winks at me
it’s just another day
I think,
new shoes.
good it's not a 21 year old lass winks at you...if not I'll drag you here....and the fat cop ticketing abandoned you...
you always possess this sweet sense of humour in you, one thing i like most in your works. Greatttttt!!! Goodluck!!!!!
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lol New shoes. I loved that. Talk about making a point in the most brief of all possible ways. And the futility of a cop ticketing abandoned cars had me smiling as well. Nice imagery there. Thanks for entering. Another fine piece to hover over until I judge
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lol funny
I like the thought of cops doing their duty and hookers doing their job in front of them lmao good job,
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