love hate
dream dreaming
eyes darkness
love hate fear
word. smile. silent.
melting, reaching
eyes searching
touch
too much
trembles
touch, here and here,
too much
love hate fear
soul.
two
two
two, one
briefly.
thought darkness alone,
Author notes
Written August 15th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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another interesting piece that leaves the reader pondering....
The ending line really got me, especially with the comma as closure. Seems to me that there is no closure in this piece, like something is being strung along with intense uncertainty. Two become one briefly... but you're not ready to separate into yourselves again. I like the hint that this is almost too intense to bear ("too much"). Well done, Lute. You have proven yourself talented in so many facets of poetry, on so many topics. I am definitely a fan!
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Astonishing
Truly powerful and emotional I felt so much in your poem I do not even have the words to express how your poem made me feel, so many emotions tied-up together.
This is so powerful it blew-me-away, well done.
Spectacular!
Good luck in the contest
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you have done well with this one
thank you for entering my contest & goodluck =]
♥ jade. -
aw only briefly...i wanted it to last. i hate these one night stands. like the sharp little sounds at the beginning with the fullstops.word. smile. silent.touch etc etc made it seem jerky and hesitant it echoes movement, you are clever.
Edited on Mar 10, 6:04 p.m. because ''. -
sounds like quite a night, i like the staccato pace, gives it a bit more urgency, heightens the passion.. nicely done. The repetitive twos and then the one, great use of the language there.. you do this stuff pretty darned good -
~ becky
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Yummy
When I read this I got a tickle instantly~ Is this supposed to happen Lute~ Hmmmmm~ I best not go into detail for the heat might burn me~ Great write my dear and next time show me a disclaimer~ Big hugs and much love~ Desire -
Interesting list poem. I think the punctuation tells the most about this work.
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hehe this is interesting, - grinzzz, what else is in the toybox?
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If I remember correctly I owe a poet a poem about passion......
one of my favs of yours so far... -
Not bad at all.. it makes you wonder at the origins of the poem. but.. given the category..I don't suppose the lines leave much to be desired if you interpret them well... Nice write
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Well, now this is interesting....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Val
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i enjoyed the repeating lines of two, two, two. was a very interesting "trick" my mind did on that -- was perhaps more visual than I should care to admit. i especially enjoyed the contradictory thoughts (love, hate) playing off of one another for a lasting affect. i also enjoyed the "fear" early on in the poem as well. great job, Lute, thanks for sharing.
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