My Masterpiece,
silently soft and Elegant to the touch.
Marbled silk flowing hair, Velvet blue eyes of rain.
It's all the same
lullaby that's sung by a choir of boys at Heaven's gate
and it's you I see
together happily ... just you and me
hand in hand by the bookcase I built for you
on the gorgeous moonlit night of Tuesday,
and I carved roses in it as you can see, my love,
your initials of beauty divine,
for you are mine.
A blessing sent down to shine.
And the word forever-more can't outlast your reaching arms
as we tangle the bed sheets more then twice.
Feeble you are, like a secret piece of art on a winter's day.
Faces and chantings of painted fairies, of magic thrice.
By wind I set sail, lips entwined
hugs and embraces collide with invisible fire works unwound
for this I found the true day to my heart, you ...
the fountain of forgotten pains, true ...
you made them go away.
My master piece
My master piece
A contest entry
- Win My Heart!!!! (will have 4 rounds x]) by KhaosFury.
600 points, ended July 15, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sensual, Erotica, Love and Happiness Contest by MYsecondchance.
700 points, ended July 9, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow this was awesome.
Thank for enterting -
Four months since I commented this piece and I still feel exactly the same way about this piece, in fact, stronger. I remembered reading it and decided to do it again this afternoon, and I felt straight back in love with it from the first line to the last. Absolutely superb as ever.
Jess x -
divine
its lovely how you just captured her in so many words ur use of metaphors and ur comparisons where perfect i love it -
Oh my Goodness, this is great. I am in love with the descriptions and metaphors you've used, also I like the relaxing flow. The style you've written it in makes it seem like the speaker is almost whispering, which gives it a very sensitive and romantic feel.
"silently soft and Elegant to the touch.
Marbled silk flowing hair, Velvet blue eyes of rain." Fantastic imagery there.
Good luck - you deserve to win this contest.
ELW
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Very beautiful. good luck!
~Cosmic -
lovely
this poem is quite a tribute, however i'm not sure what you mean by, "my masterpiece" poetic freedom entitles you to say it, of course. I do really like the lines, "hugs and embraces collide with invisible fireworks unwound," and "the fountain of forgotten pains," a terrific choice of words to describe human experience and condition. i have no serious critique, however i did enjoy reading this. cheers to love and all that goes along with it.
*Leah
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