I found out just last night
My husband cheats on me
I think I want to kill him
And his little devotee
When I woke up this morning
I knew just what to do
It was the perfect murder
I planned it all out too
I gathered my utensils
My little murder set
The cyanide spiked coffee
The exploding cigarette
When he came down slowly
I sat him in his chair
Poured him a cup of coffee
And lit him up right there
I then ran to the bathroom
The explosion was sure to follow
Would he survive to see it?
Or die from just a swallow
I rolled over sleepily
And then began to weep
It seems I had done nothing
I had just been fast asleep
So this time I was certain
I was gonna do it right
I went downstairs to grab a knife
I would give him such a fright
I slipped up next to the bed
To thrust it in his heart
But just as I struck the blow
I woke up with a start
Now I became angry
Just when would this stop
I went and got my shotgun
It was sure to make him drop
I snuck up right behind him
And fired at his chest
He turned around and laughed at me
Told me to go and rest
Then once again I woke up
And I began to scream
Just tell me what I have to do
To stop this bloody dream
In final desperation
I went and got a rope
If strangling him doesn't work
I'm sure I have no hope
I wrapped it round his little neck
Im sure I pulled it tight
His head it spun and looked at me
It laughed and said goodnight
This time when I awoke
I knew I couldn't end his life
So I went into the kitchen
And grabbed a sharpened knife
I turned it on myself
And prayed I would awake
If the dream would find out
My own life I would take
I thrust the knife into my chest
And found that I could feel
The blood was flowing from the wound
This time the dream was real
The pain it was excruciating
All I could ask is why
My husband came and looked at me
said "Sorry you have to die"
He tossed some pills right next to me
He said "I'm sorry hun, your ill"
You're tripping on this little
Hallucinogenic pill
I put it in your coffee
He chuckled with a smirk
I'll tell the cops its cause
Your frustrated with your work
Then he kissed me on the forehead
And I began to cry
As he left to call the cops
He left me there to die
So now I'm dead you see
I wish you wouldn't mock it
I got the ending laugh you see
I had a recorder in my pocket
The police they searched my body
The evidence they found
The conversation I recorded
In the courtroom it was sound
He sees his mistress no more
and its pure revenge to find
Until the date he gets his death
He gets it from behind.
Author notes
Purple Bannanas
A contest entry
- The Lighter Side of Life by CelticQueen.
600 points, ended July 6, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [What the f*ck??? I killed you FOUR hours ago!!!] by Xombii.
395 points, ended July 6, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - She Wants Revenge by mourningmonday.
875 points, ended November 28, 2007, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Pee by Cherokee.
300 points, ended December 2, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
I didn't pee but I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight.
-
Wow. This is a strong, strong favorite so far!! This was amazing!! The recurring dreams of killing the husband were interesting, and I had thought it was all over when the narrator turned the knife upon herself. I love the surprise element of the recorder, and the last two lines are the PERFECT ending to this horror, but ironic, stor
-
-
Many many thanks on the gold!
I wrote this poem for a different contest a while ago, and always thought it was some of my best work, and was so disappointed that it didnt even win an honorable mention. You have reignited my confidence, and given my self esteem a huge boost! Thanks again so much!!!!
David
-
-
This is brilliant.
I looooove it. Its sad that you ended up dying, but in the end, he got what was coming to him. A fate worse than murder. Sickeningly funny && ironic.
The pain it was excruciating
All I could ask is why
My husband came and looked at me
said "Sorry you have to die"
He tossed some pills right next to me
He said "I'm sorry hun, your ill"
You're tripping on this little
Hallucinogenic pill
I loved those stanzas, it was just so... horror movie surprise ending-esq. Brilliant, I love it. Made me gasp, lol.
[♥]
good luck and thanks for entering.
-
I don't know whether to laugh at your ineptitude or feel sorry for you that your husband obviously thought of murder first! That had to be one really long night!
Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest. celtic queen -
Oh my! This is halarious! I love the way you keep waking uo until you end up killing yourself. That certainly did not work out well. The wording is great and a story told well. I love the last stanza. That one made me laugh out loud instead of a soft chuckle and twisted grins. Very well written! Good luck in the contest, I'm sure you'll win.
-
This is wonderfully funny, you are a genius with words. Very creative! You deserve gold with this one. If, I had a gold I'd give it to you but I've never won one. And, I'm not sure how I would give it to you if I had a gold cup.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
