windows
Portholes leading my eyes
Towards the infinity of space
That lies outside the door
Out there
Where dreams and memories
Roam the empty street
Like packs of hungry dogs
In here
If I look away from the window
I’ll see the face in the mirror
Staring back at me
If I look too hard
I’ll see the chips and fractures
Where the chisels of unrepentant time
Have made their marks
If I think too much
I’ll doubt life and love
And hope will lie belly up
Like a dead Starfish on the beach
If I live too long
I’ll look back through these windows
From the other side of the glass
And ask why?
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything. by Sonofdead.
800 points, ended June 26, 2007, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Any... old or new thing ...at all! ...ANYTHING EVERYBODY!!!! by wendymolly.
750 points, ended June 16, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - General: Free Verse, Rhyme and Everything Else by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LET ME HAVE YOUR BEST!!! by Ale E.
600 points, ended August 15, 2007, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PIF: Prewrites Contest for My Favorites by Night Hope.
900 points, ended June 13, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Damned, I could well imagine that this would be me in years gone by. The past sometimes does manage to invade the present and vis vera and yet both are where you are in the moment. There will always be regrets but they are quickly followed by joys that won't easily be forgotten. One solitary room holding one soul who can look in all doirection and see so many different things and he says...I wonder why.
Congrats on the trophy.
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John
Mirror mirror on the wall,
Who'll win this year at basketball?
Will it be the Celtics, or LA Lakers?
Mirror, mirror, have you any takers?
Very pensive! At least from the group I've seen!
Nonetheless,good job!
John
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"If I look too hard
I’ll see the chips and fractures
Where the chisels of unrepentant time
Have made their marks"
You are much too hard on yourself, John; you must be a Poet or somethin'. 
Ahhh, you & me both, arafura...the mirror is such a cruel liar. 
This is a wonderfully~insightful piece, laden with doubt, belief, hope, despair, love & indifference, life & its inevitable alternative. Life is far too brief as it is, my Friend. We both know this too well. Thank you for entering my contest. Good luck, Sweetie. 
Wanda
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From looking out a real window, we are suddenly looking in through a window of the soul. Almost as if your face, reflected in the glass, is staring at you and you are unsure which is the real one. The single lines in this poem make a substrata that reads very effectively on its own. Within the poem, these lines serve to separate the changes in thought, as the poet becomes more introspective. Layers of thought, and time, express this soul with beautiful imagery. The poetic devises used, simile and metaphor, internal rhyme and assonance, near rhyme, all contribute to the pensive tone. The final line, the final question, is unanswerable.
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Awesome write, I see myself in a lot of what you say...watching out the window...Where dreams and memories...Roam the empty street...expections of things to come...
hugs, mary
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I liked this a lot. I think it was written quite well. Thank you for entering. Best of luck in my contest.
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If I look too hard
I’ll see the chips and fractures
Where the chisels of unrepentant time
Have made their marks
If I think too much
I’ll doubt life and love
And hope will lie belly up
Like a dead Starfish on the beach
this piece is special, the eyes the portholes to the soul... sometimes I fear to look too deep myself... I loved the way you expressed yourself here. reading this piece made me feel too much...smiling
wonderful write
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Thought provoking and intriguing. The one liners with the follow ups are excellent. I loved the words and phrases you used, as well as the entire poem's theme. Bravo!!
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Excellent. The structure gives you the stop and think
pause. then you present the image and move on. Very well done -
This is a fantastic use of the free verse form in the way emphasis is applied in the "If I..." lines. I also enjoyed your comparisons ("chisels of unrepentant time," "Like a dead Starfish on the beach," "packs of hungry dogs") and found them to be apt, artistic, professional and worthwhile in their communication. The only place where I feel this work falls short is that the reader can walk away not really understanding the reference to "windows." What I mean is, I am unsure (perhaps owing to a tendency to over-evaluate poetry) if the windows are literal or metaphorical. Either way, however, it doesn't make much of a difference in the piece or the enjoyment one can find in reading it. I am tempted to be cliche and say that you have written from your soul, here, but in truth you have written from your mind and the thoughts that invade as you consider the past and the future.
Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
the last two stanzas have wonderful imagery and emotion ... i love the belly up analogy .. not sure you need 'dead' ... i quite like the one-liners dividing the stanzas as if self-questioning and answering ... >>> gina
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Great
Love this piece, absolutely lovely and so well thought through! Love the metaphors and the wording and the thoughts. Brilliant mind full of sensitivity!
Good luck!
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When we look into the mirror we can either deny what we know to be us or live with it and try and fix what we know to be wrong, A very powerful and out standingly brilliantly penned poem thank you for allowing me to read and comment on your work,
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Reflections of ourselves that we don;'t always want to see. We often see the chips and fractures. That is part of life.
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Peek proof
Anyone that has the priviledge to peek at this poem will have the thrill of reading something extremely well written. This poems take you on a journey through many windows and times.
I love the placement of the separations between stanzas.
The first lines set us up to look at the stars and you end with us reminded to look inside. We do have they say a window to our souls right?
I hope you win the contest. It is indeed one I would love to have for myself in an anthology so I could read it over and over.
Penquinpoet
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The past stepping on the heels of the present and memories flooding the gates Windows~ Out there~ In here~ If I look to hard~ If I think to much~ If I live to long~ cheer up my sweet friend and place the little star fish back in it's home and do the same for yourself You are loved
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