Lookin back

Looking at ghosts from my past tryin to figure out the future

I find no answers only pain and hurt

I tryin get a handle on my life and fight off this cloud

But the longer my nights get

The harder my days are to go through

I feel my self slipping away into this abyss

Of mindlessness and suicide dreams

Mouth watering at the thought of steel

Tearing through leaving a bright red trail

But then a glimpse of black tar peace i see

OOO how speacil just enough for me

I can feel my body fill with glee

As i prepare to become one with all

While on my senses darkness falls

As i drift in between this world and the next

Thoughts of you run through my head

An with them hurt i thought was dead

The tears fall freely down my face

As i think about what we shared

All the hushed promises we made so late at night

Then i think about all the secrets hidden so deep

As i mellow out my thoughts drift away from you

To someone so close yet so far away

She probably doesnt even know im here

But what times we have talked

I felt safe with her

As if she was my most trusted friend

I starve for her attion yet i freeze

Everytime i go to speak my words get crossed

And my poetic thoughts turn into

An autistic  kids random thought

But even today i had a chance to tell her

But as i tried my heart got cold and my mind went blank

I guess that was my hearts way of protecting me

From getting hurt they way i did when i fell for you