The Sentinel of the sweeping sea
Goes swiftly sailing on
Away from land and hearth and hope
Towards the coming dawn
A phantom ship she seams to be
Gilt flags high and streaming
So that all who may look on her
Would think themselves dreaming
Her sails stay full without a wind
Billowing white and full
Bearing her up across the waves
Against the oceans’ pull
The Sentinel of the sweeping sea
Goes swiftly sailing on
In one moment hovering near
Then in an instant; gone
Yet no thing of ghosts is this ship
No phantom thing of dream
Though it disappears in a blink
It isn’t what it seems
There is a crew for this great ship
Though they may be unseen
Working her might – driving her far
Across the waters’ gleam
Their tale is sad and full of woe
Their valor born of pain
For though they sail as sentinel
Their quest is not but vain
To guard their shores from pirates bold
Their sad and weary quest
To live or die it is their task
Fixed fast in every breast
But pirate ships are swift alike
And swords are sharp and fell
Unafraid of any man’s breast
And wrought in the deep hell
Along the coast their bound to sail
Seeking plunder and gold
Chasing away the meek and poor
And ravaging the bold
No ship could stop their each assault
But the sentinel tries
Bound to such a course of valor
Until their each man dies
This is their weary penalty
For their each loathsome crime
Sailing the ocean eternally
Through all tide and all time
This is the course they have chosen
To save their souls from hell
For once they were pirates ghastly
Both murderous and fell
Once they ravished every ocean
And slew each lad and lass
Shivering the desired peace
Shattering it like glass
Once they pillaged and plundered
Looted, sacked, and raped
Ravishing land and innocent
While helpless stood and gaped
Upon one conquest fearsome bold
A witch they cruel waylaid
Gouging deep with their bitter seed
More deeply with their blade
But ere she died she cursed them all
Eternally to roam
Across the oceans’ endless maw
Upon the breaking foam
Until each life is accounted
And each blood debt is paid
Settled each ghost that they did make
Upon their Pirates’ blade
A thousand lives they must protect
For the thousand they stole
A thousand years to wash them clean
Of blood as black as coal
And so the sentinel sails wide
Across the ocean blue
And so she seeks to repay now
All those that they once slew
The Sentinel of the sweeping sea
Goes swiftly sailing on
In one moment hovering near
Then in an instant; gone
So if you see a gilded flag
When you are cruel waylaid
Then raise your hand and steel your heart
And brandish high your blade
All your despair is ended now
The fight from your hand taken
For the sentinel comes to you
You are not forsaken
The Sentinel of the sweeping sea
Goes swiftly sailing on
Away from land and hearth and hope
Towards the coming dawn
Author notes
Option 5 I guess... its kind of a fantasy write... Hopefully you like.
A contest entry
- Take up your Quill and Pen me a Masterpiece by Lord Merlynn.
800 points, ended June 27, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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love the rhyme and flow; reminds me somewhat of the albatross ...
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Nice flow and I loved the wording.
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Omg! this one is written so beautifully and the words the vocabulary is so decent and attractive. I love the choice of words and the amazing flow which makes it more pleasant to read. I just love the imagery and the emotions mingled with it..
Its a perfect one and beautifully written.
I love this one, great job!!!
I hope u like mine too, take a look..
thanks, God bless
love,
Mansoor -
3 claps...9pts
The Poetic Bandits
~Lilac
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Only Honorable mention? The winner must of had something spectacular because THIS was an awesome write. Not such a fan of free verse but your story had me bewitched the entire time I read it. Wonderful job.
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What a wonderful story so full of wonderful imagery and emotions. Excellent write, keep up the wonderful writing
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That is an extremely outstanding poem very well written and thought out. You captivated me from start to finish.
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This was great. I love fantasy stories. I thought I read this before but I don't knopw where my comment went. Congrats on your trophy.
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wow. this was really good. i loved your choice of words. some of them i didn''t quite understand untill i read a little farther, but in the end, i actually understood it all. this was truely amazing. keep up the great writes!
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Wow! The sharing of a tale of redeemption on the High seas. Good flow and great imagery! GOOD STUFF!
Dennis :^)
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Good rhythm, rhyme, flow in these lines. Can see why you won a HM for this poem. Good story you share in these verses - very vivid images throughout.
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What Frodofan said, sometimes the flow stumbles a bit, but overall a good story telling poem. Setting the lines in a different form it's almost a ballad.
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An entertaining story. Good imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Good rhythm. Good depth of feeling. Good word choice. Nice alliteration and assonance. Your story poem kept my attention. You're a very good storyteller. A most enjoyable read. Congratulations on winning Honorable Mention. Well deserved.
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A great story with very nice rhyme and meter. You don't see too many writes about ships. I've done a couple and this one is especially well done. Great work. Take care and Have fun. Steve
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Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my poem. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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Nicely done. I love the story of this. It's very well done. Maybe slightly off here and there flow-wise, but overall good. I think you might have used the word "ravish" a few too many times in a short space though.
If you haven't, you should check out Eusebius on this site. This piece reminded me of some of his ship related poems. Good job.
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Eusebius is on my favorites. Thanks for the comments!
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Wow! you've blown me away~ clearly you can tell you put so much work into this! GREAT job!!! Good luck in the contest! You did awesome! ~
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thanx! glad you liked it!
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I like it. I also like the fact that this is not a prewrite, thank you. This, I would think, is kind of a fantasy write, but I liked it. Great job.
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Alot of my writes tend to be fantasy writes... but then so do most of my stories. Its what i do. I'm glad you liked! Thanks for the comments and the applause!
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