He promised her eternal life
On his holiest of days
He would turn her to his kind
And show her of his ways
His hair, black as midnight
With sapphire eyes that burn
His most exquisite features
Would make any mortal turn
His slender hand clinched her waist
Then he purred into her ear
“You will own my heart,
But that time is very, very near.”
“What must I do,” she asked,
To always be with you?”
He then paced madly
A gruesome deed must he do
He grabbed both her arms
Her soul must now depart
“I’m so sorry,” he said with tears
Then skewered out her heart
Screams and cries were heard
When they found her lifeless corpse
Missing her beating heart
The girl lives no more
Over lands old
Over lands of kings
Must he roam and return to
With her heart he must bring
He takes her heart inside
Tenderly with hands adorn
“If I shall be yours,
You must be reborn.”
Into the altar it goes
Into a deep abysmal lake
Of aged vampire blood
The pool begun to wake
Then all in an instant
The girl reappeared
Pale and perfect
Stoic and revered
She does not live
For her heart beats no more
She will now lead eternity
With her earthly routines on the floor
She stares at her new love
Drenched and bare
He ran to her and kissed her hard
Running fingers through her hair
Even now they are together
Their passion is still true
Each day they sleep
But each night is new
Their love will carry on
Until the world ceases breathing
They will still ache for each other
As if it was first meeting
Author notes
So much more to the story than you mortals know...
A contest entry
- ~*~*~Picture Inspiried~*~*~ by MoonlightBeam.
600 points, ended July 2, 2007, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SUPERNATURAL SUPERSTARS...click meeeeeeeeeee by XInsanity-FairX.
800 points, ended August 8, 2007, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Vampires by Darc Soul.
600 points, ended August 28, 2007, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want by MrCrepsley.
600 points, ended September 10, 2008, 195 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Great.
I loved the last line because it shows that they have done it before.
Really good rhyming.
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Thank you Maximum!
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Well, I've been a mortal once or twice and found that it doesn't really ring my bell, but, then again, when I go to my own dark and silent planet, I wonder around and have heard wings, dark ones with pink and bluish smears on them, behind me in the deep blue black air there, and she whispered once to me to just stand still ... am considering it .
this is just entrancing, keep up the good work ... all trophies well and excellently taken
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This poem was really good. I don't really understand it though. Why did she have to die?
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It's just like most vamp stories. You have to die to become undead. He tore out her heart to remake her in this case, instead of turning her in her old body. Just one of my many strange fantasies I guess .
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oh, okay! lol.
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This was quite an intense and emotional write, told in a beautiful way with wonderful narration. I enjoyed being taken through the story and awaited each stanza. Thank you for entering my contest!
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Thank you for the comment freestallion!
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Hannah Hannah,
You lovely beast
What you have written
My eyes will feast
It's lovely and true
I think I said this before
But you'll never know
How much this poem I adore
So I comment again
If I could, I'd all night
But to comment only once
Simply is not right
So Hannah,dear one
You've done it again
I cannot fathom
What life would be like without your pen
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My dearest Sam
Your words never cease
To confound me
Esoteric beauty
In your diction
That makes me wonder
That make me smile
Your mind is a pool
Of brilliance
And hand not only writes
But creates
Such pieces
I only dreamt of making
From my mind
I await the day
That see each other
Again -
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Till then Mother.
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I wait till then, daughter.
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Some very vivid imagery and an excellent write..your creations is awesome...thanks for entering my contest...novy
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Thank you. Much love <3
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Please edit this poem to use left align and use a plain background, or I will have to DQ this write!
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Ok then, tell me if this is better, k?
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Thank you, that is better
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this is amazing..it flows brilliantly and it has love and pain and sacrifice...it's full of emotion and the rhyme is good...i loved this poem alot...well done and good luck in my contest thank you for your entry...
truly beautifull...
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Thank you very much!
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It has love, blood (my fetish), but where's the dark? Wheres the emotion that brings the poem through the darkness? Did this even skim the surface? We'll find out at judging time...
Thanks for entering, and good luck...
Blood Magick
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Hmm...I personally thought that the actions performed were dark. I mean, it's not everyday a vampire wants to turn you then rips your heart out because he loves you. The imagery is probably a little too vague for some. Although I would love people to see what I see when I wrote this...
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Love it and thanks for entering
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No prob squishy
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ooo Hannah I love it...so dark yet so passionate...it flows so nicely.....hehe sounds creepy but i want your brain Hannah!
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Thank you. I feel honored that you want my brain...teehee
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