The dreams
and aspirations
of youthful idealism
become unraveled, crushed
by merciless
reality.
They come
crashing down
as a forsaken bird
no longer buoyed up
by the updrafts
of optimism
and hope.
Expectations
fade as forgotten dreams
and the resulting damage
precludes future flight
accepting the status quo
and the weighty
incumbrance of
orthodoxy.
Despite those
who whisper "You can fly again",
your heart no longer
believes.
Earthbound as a caterpillar
with no chrysalis future,
you chant the mantra
of the living
dead.
Author notes
Picture Credit: The Lament For Icarus by Herbert Draper
A contest entry
- PICTURE INSPIRED by Arkbear.
300 points, ended June 28, 2007, 25 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I've Been Here Four Years Today... Remind Me Why :D by DramaQueen469.
4000 points, ended June 26, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Wow, beautiful imagery and a powerful write; this is just beautiful
Thankyou so much for entering this piece in my contest, and I wish you the best of luck!
♥ Maria ♥ -
3 claps...9pts
The Poetic Bandits
~Lilac
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Lovely flow and tones and grandstand imagery a lovely write and a more lovely read have a great day
-
It's not bad. Once again, free verse isn't my favorite. But I do like what you were saying.
"Despite those
who whisper "You can fly again",
your heart no longer
believes. "
This is definitely the way I feel a lot. It's too bad that society has such a hold over people. This was well written good job. -
Congrats on the Gold!!! I thought this was a unique and amazing piece of poetry. I loved the flow..and the endless emotions, they were decribed well.
Kaitlyn
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Delighted for you, Dennis. This is a stunning piece and well deserving of the gold trophy - congratulations!
-
OMG ~
My Handsome Brother Dennis ~
I just thought Desire had penned the
best poem thus far......NOPE!!
This is absolutely ingenius!!!!!!!!
Each stanza BLEW ME AWAY!!!!!!!!!
The best to you Sir!
Brother Bear ~
Despite those
who whisper "You can fly again",
your heart no longer
believes.
WOW!
-
Great job on this! The style you have chosen for this piece is really interesting, and suits the suject of the piece really well. It has a nice flow to it, and the imagery is divine. really great work!
-
Oh I love the FORMAT~ I love the whole thing all together~
-
Wonderful!!!
This is a wonderful poem! Great imagery with the picture and nice flow. Great job!
Love & Light
Debbera
-
Even without the picture prompt, this is an amazing poem.
"Despite those
who whisper "You can fly again",
your heart no longer
believes."
I loved this stanza. One can only fly again if one believe he/she can. Though it doesn't appear to be in any set form, your poem is visually appealing as well.
-
Such an amazing take on the picture. You have painted such a vivid picture with your words. I loved the imagery and depth of your poem. Excellent write
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Hi Dennis, I really like what you did. It sure is not an easy picture to write to and I think you did a wonderful job.
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Hmm I like the picture. It can have many meaning. I also liked your form though not sure which one you used.
-
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Mi' Lady, This is free verse and free form (for lack of a better excuse...LOL) I probably should have used left justifcation but I wanted to dress it up a bit, hope M' Lady was not offend by this.
Dennis :^)
-
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I think you've done an incredible job and bringing that picture to life. You have made it impossible to take your eyes away from this piece and really wrote a wonderfully powerful poem. I can't even pinpoint one line or stanza because they all pack a real punch. Well done!
-
A beautifully worded poem which flows so well
into each line and verse.
very well done
best wishes
Dixie
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Exceptional penning...
I just have to say bro, your writing is very creative and fresh! I am impressed with your freestyle!!! The words you have used and the way you have put them together, just makes it so much more profound to the reader...
This write held me, you've created strong engagement and the flow is superb
The youth of today do find life hard, 6 paces forward and 10 backwards, dreams seem much harder to reach or even keep, everything is done at break neck speed as if in a race... when too many knocks occur it gets harder to pick up and dust down...
I love the metaphor used throughout this piece, and particularly enjoyed the last stanza, you have excelled yourself, with this quality penning, the language and tone are superb and your message and presentation is splendid, and compliments the contest picture perfectly...I myself cannot find fault with anything, plus I am so impressed with these lines:
Earthbound as a caterpillar
with no chrysalis future,
you chant the mantra
of the living dead.
Much love ~Sis
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