Look to the darkness, you'll find me there
Ripped to shreds from every care
Burried in ashes, pulling my hair
A dead wretched angel left in despair
Broken from my path and love I once held
Blistering thoughts with a sharp feeling felt
A feeling of lose constantly haunts my hopes
A dead wretched angel with nothing to show
Can't describe this world, when left in the rain
How can light shine on me, I feel so insane
How can my innocence cause me to feel so much pain
A dead wretched angel with nothing to gain
No matter what, my demons wont go away
Wake in the flames, I can't call for a name
A cold dark world where joy is forbidden
A dead wretched angel with secrets kept hidden
A dead wretched angel with broken wings
A heart that is frightened, can no longer sing
A heart that broke free to soar in the sky
A dead wretched angel left living a lie...
-DWA-
Author notes
One of the original poems I lost long ago. I found it!! This is basically my autobio-poem
A contest entry
- Your BEST Prewrite! - For Mike [degarmo] - by Never Fall in Love.
950 points, ended October 29, 2007, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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excellent poem good luck in the contest here is my favorite part
Can't describe this world, when left in the rain
How can light shine on me, I feel so insane
How can my innocence cause me to feel so much pain
A dead wretched angel with nothing to gain
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It's an amazing poem! Great job.
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Aside from the typos in stanzas 1 and 3 ['burried' should be 'buried', and 'lose' should be 'loss'], I found this a wonderful read. There was a calm, haunting sort of darkness in it that I found beautiful. Well done!
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My first impression of this poem was WOW, I really love the sence of darkness in this poem, and yes it was very well written, I dont know what else to say then it was an amazing poem keep up the GREAT work!
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I absolutely loved this write!! Dark, lonely, sad, and angry. These are the emotions I felt as I read this. I did find that the rhyme scheme was rather broken and unstable, but all in all, I loved it, especially the lines "How can light shine on me, I feel so insane, How can my innocence cause me to feel so much pain" I feel this way all too much, and you brought it to my mind to ponder on once again.
Great write and good luck in the contest!!
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Good job! Love it. Only this one thing. You said in your poem that:
"Burried in ashes, pulling my hair"
That should be:
"Buried in ashes, pulling my hair"
It had that flaw so you don't get clappies, otherwise you had 'em. Call me strict. Keep it up!!!
~Asa of the Poets of Idealistic Craze -
oh, and I'll feature it cuz it's great!
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My gosh bro!!!
This is one of the best poems I've read in a while.
Your endings ... as I've been mentioning for about forever .. are superb. This one especially gives you a punch in the face after the line before the last.
I'm so glad you found it and I hope that you find back all of your amazing poems! I don't know what to say except that - I know who you are, lol, so much for the anonymous contest part. But it's great.
Love ya ♥
Never ♥
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