The Game 34 (Frankie Iero)

The Game (Frankie Iero) 34

It had been  a few days longer then a week before you were completely independent. You were beginning to feel like your old self. minus the pissy attitude.  You’d been thinking about this for a long time, and uneasy it made you. You had to do it eventually. You promised them; Adam, Lisa, and Paul, that’d you’d go back home and explain. You’d been taking a prescription heart medicine you bought of the streets to help aid the withdrawals. It’s what you used last time and it work. Gerard had even used it during his withdrawals. You could walk around. Eating was easy. Moving was a privilge you enjoyed. You like sharing a bed with Frankie. You liked cuddling with him on the couch. You liked sitting next to him you liked holding his hand. But no matter what happened. You refused to let him kiss you. It wasn’t what you had in mind and wasn’t the right time. You needed to finish the rest of this on your own. 
*Frankie. I need to talk to you.*
*Oh, okay. Let‘s go outside and have a cigarette.* he got up and grabbed his pack of Marlboro 100’s and walked with you outside. You held his jacket close to you.
*I want to thank you for everything you‘ve done. Thanks for getting me over this. I‘m sorry I have to do this. before they died they made me promise to do something. There‘s no way I can possibly put this behind me without honoring their last requests. *

*What did they want you to do?* Frankie leaned against the bumper and set his cigarette box down.

*To go back home. And tell our parents everything. Everything from beginning to end.*  you said standing with your hands in one of his black hoodies.

*Well we‘ve only got about a month to go before touring is over. We can go on our way to Jersey.* he said with a smile.

*Frankie. That’s overly romanticized.* you said with a huff.

*what?* he said tossing his cigarette to the ground and crushing it.

*I have to go alone. I want to be able to go back home without you.* you said wringing your hands after taking them out of the pockets of course.

*You‘re leaving?* Frankie said standing up.

*With you’re help.* you said standing closer to him.

*How so?* he asked stepping back and looking at your feet.

*I don‘t have any money. And I was hoping you could lend me some cash so I can buy a bus ticket and get it done.* you said your vision starting to blur

*Wait. you want to leave tomorrow?* he said. He was starting to sound hurt.

*Preferably tonight. But if it’s better tomorrow, I‘m fine with that.. * you said trying to look into his eyes.

*I don’t want you to leave.* he said stepping closer to you.

*the sooner I leave, the faster I‘ll be back. It‘ll take no more than 2 months.* you replied as your stepped closer to him.

*I‘ll be in New York and recording by then.* he said  shaking his head.

*Then give me your address and I‘ll find you. I just want to do this before I‘m better. I need to get over with this stage of my life. I want to hurry and move on. I want to grow as a person faster. And this last thing I promised them, will keep me from moving on. * you said standing and holding your hand out to your side. Frankie was holding his hands in his pockets. Sighed then kicked the butt of his cigarette.

*All  I need is 100 bucks for the ticket and money to buy flowers for their parents when I go over there. I might even be invited to their graves. Please. I need to go there and do this and by then I‘ll be clean and you can be proud of me. I just want to get on my feet* you pleaded hoping that he would just leave before you finished talking.

*okay. But will you please stay on more night. So we can tell the guys what‘s going down. A lot of them are afraid that if you were to go somewhere else you might give in again.* Frankie said.  He kicked his leg forward and walked back tot the door. You followed him closely behind. Frankie called everyone out and explained everything and especially expressed his belief in you. Eventually everyone gave their consent and 20 bucks each, ultimately leaving you with 100 bucks you needed to get your bus ticket.

That night must have been the hardest thing you had ever done.