The clock's still moving slowly,
The time keeps grinding on,
It's been so many days now,
So long that you've been gone,
But time keeps moving onwards,
And I'm still waiting here,
And with every passing second,
I'm wishing you were near,
I gaze out of my window,
And the world's alive outside,
But I'm still trapped here waiting,
Your eternal hidden bride,
And time keeps ticking onwards,
And stil I'm waiting here,
Still with every passing second,
I'm wishing you were near,
My computer screen is empty,
Just as empty as my heart,
I just keep losing substance,
Every moment we're apart,
Yet time keeps ticking onwards,
And still I must wait here,
With every agonising second,
I'm wishing you were near,
The clock hands have stopped moving,
And I have lost all hope,
The time is ever changing,
Yet I just sit and mope,
The time keeps ticking onwards,
And I am waiting here,
As the seconds keep on passing,
Your absense becomes more clear,
Finally I see your name,
And I feel newly alive,
Why did it have to take so long,
For you to just arrive?
And the time still ticks onwards,
But now I just don't care,
The seconds are moving swifter,
Now that you are there,
But you are not as I remembered,
You are not nearly so great,
Not worth the time spent waiting,
Not worth you being late,
You were not all that I wanted,
An illusion to my eyes,
You were not all I expected,
My heart now empty of the lies,
So no more time spent waiting,
For you who'll never come,
No more time spent waiting,
My imprisonment is done,
And the hours keep on going,
But I won't wait for you,
If you're allowed to live your life,
Then I will live mine too.
Author notes
This is about becoming obsessed with someone over the internet and enduring them not being around. The ending is the realisation that the obsession was unfounded
A contest entry
- Love and its meaning by xXLoveXx.
600 points, ended August 22, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Missing you ( Perwrites Aloud) by Rasmus.
350 points, ended July 5, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell Me The Truth. Did You Ever Love Me? by forbidden-colour.
300 points, ended July 12, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Obsession by glued-to.
1000 points, ended January 12, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Sorry it's so long, but yeah comment it please, tell me how to improve or whatever, be much appreciated =]
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i like your eternal bride. and well down on the ticking allusions and imagery throughout the poem, keepign the flow and time drudging onward in your obsession with this guy (assumed)
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Good piece.
I did find the comma at every end of the line a little unessecary?
Thank you for entering.x.
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very long piece but wonderfully written! good luck in my contest! =]
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Please read the contest guidelines. I asked for no rhyme
Feel free to remove this piece and enter something else if you have anything suitable. I gotta say, though, the meter is really very nicely done here, and I especially loved the final stanza.
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Welcome to allpoetry
It is pretty good as is. It is really long. Only thing is I feel like something is missing. Something... a little background info. Perhaps who or why you were waiting for this person. I don't know I just feel like I haven't got a clear picture of what you are trying to tell. I get that you are waiting and that whoever you were waiting for was not what you thought, but why? You know
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
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