Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Methanphetamines

It's 8am and I'm off to school

And she's no where to be seen

I leave the house without being fed

And still remain unclean

I'm sorry I had to call grandma today

But mommy didn't come home again

She was out allnight getting doped up

And hanging with all of her friends

I see daddy waiting up for her

His shoulders weighing a ton

He tried to kill himself today

I saw him with the gun

I awoke suddenly that morning

To him sitting by my side

He looks at me with tears in his eyes

'I'm sorry Kimberly, I tried, I tried, I tried.'

'Hey mommy' I say quietly

'What is it that you do?'

She says 'It's a dietary suppliment,

And it has nothing to do with you.'

She's tearing up our family

And all we see now is disgust

So tonight I pray to God

'Will you please save us?'

 

Author notes

Umm when I first wrote this I actually started crying because it was like a war flashback. All I could think about were those nights and I couldn't help but cry so I think this was a good release for me.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • renizzle
    October 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Incredibly honest, and from the view of a child--giving it innocence.


  • RedAquarius
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think the juvenile tinge to this is a great device, as well as the strong, simple rhyme you have going. Both strengthen the feeling of a young child, helpless but aware of great destruction around her/him. It's piercing and poignant but not over the top about it, which again strengthens its impact.

    Good luck in the contest.


  • blueyez
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I too had a mom that I sat waiting for to come home keep your head up and you will thrive! I hope your pen helps you to release your resentment the way mine has helped me
    Peace and Love


  • SoftlyScreaming
    July 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow... i love thr rhyme in this.. and you know what? my mom is tearing up my family also, but mostly me.. right now im at my dads house so that i wont be around my mom, but my older sister is with her.. my mom keeps trying to committ suicide and blames it on me, telling me thats it all my fault that she wants to die.. its like im murdering her and she puts a guilt trip on me.. but anyways, back to my point, i understand where youre coming from, my situation is a little different, but i still feel your pain the same way.. okay a little differently.. okay, i know what i mean, just ignore me.. great write btw


  • Shannon is neat
    July 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    In all seriousness

    this is one of the best poems i have ever read.
    its so raw and honest
    and i love the rhyming scheme
    it flows and its just amazing.

    its the saddest part but its the best:

    "I awoke suddenly that morning
    To him sitting by my side
    He looks at me with tears in his eyes
    'I'm sorry Kimberly, I tried, I tried, I tried.'"

    keep it up Kimber
    i'm uber jealous.
    i wish i could write like you.


  • badddgirl
    July 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gosh, this is the most heartfelt poem I have ever read.

    Drugs are the biggest household wreaking issues that I see most of the time, I cried while reading this, lovely write my new friend!


    She's tearing up our family

    And all we see now is disgust

    So tonight I pray to God

    'Will you please save us?'

    Wow, ....Wow.


  • They Say Shannon
    July 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is a strong piece.
    It kind of sounds like a child wrote it but it's still really good and I think that makes it better.

    Nice job <3


  • zappa gold member
    July 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I empathize with you on this. I have been in this exact situation and my heart cries for you and everyone who must endure the sick pathetic pain this drug causes to so many-many people. We all suffer in the end and I am so very sorry

  • Shannon is neat
    July 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow. i was around then i think.
    you deserve so much better Kim.
    you really do


  • Broken Machine
    June 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, that's really good! I'm sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad it helped a little to write about it. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.

1 - 12 of 12