Oil runs blazing hot,
sensual-gelatinous sexuality,
It is thick golden water
for my soul,
It never leaves, swirling
in the wax, phasing and glinting
intertwined with aromas
I've never experienced.
They keep me alone,
basking in perfection,
lighting my pedestal,
raising me upwards
on silver soulful wings.
Endless nights
crusting in the shadow,
You came and brought
eternal peace, light,
fire and oil,
the Children of the Candle
She is a mother,
scintillating,
molded by
unworthy hands,
forever traipsing
our lonesome lands.
A contest entry
- Incense, Oil, and Candles - oh My! by RedAquarius.
350 points, ended June 23, 2007, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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shweeet! the only thing i didn't care for, was the use of 'it'. i feel that you should just take out the 'it is' in front. i always feel is better to show the reader what they are experiencing, let them feel it, rather than just telling him or her this is... this is.... otherwise, completely awesome job.
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I don't know why but the phrase 'phasing and glinting' is very enjoyable for me to read. This is a unique mix; oil an oasis at candle's base, a bit of personification in that part, where the candle seems to be lamenting its perch on a pedestal, unable to experience freely...quite intriguing. Good luck and thanks for entering the contest.
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