What a woman desires her man to say:
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
To what, my beloved shall I liken thee?
For in thy presence all things fade away.
From the rising sun, the light will flee;
As you gleam more than a bright summer’s day
Should I equate thee with the sparkling sky
Beneath which engaged in copulation
The endless count of twinkles that I spy
Wane in worth set against our elation
Shall I vie my love with the swelling beach?
Nay, for the oceans fit in finite space.
My heart inflates beyond the timeless reach;
Your divinity is my saving grace
I promise this as your man in his prime
Love springs eternal, past the end of time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What a dude wants his gal to say:
UU--o|o--o|o--o|o--o|o--o|o--o|o--UU
Your penis is so big
I stare at it wide-eyed
Your penis tastes so good
All pretenses aside
Your penis is so high
I come when you’re en-guard
I feel my panties slither
‘coz your penis is so hard
It makes my body shiver
‘coz your penis is so bulky
The biggest I’ve ever seen
It makes other men sulky
Your penis is a thrill
And your penis is so raised
It gives me so much pleasure
And deserves the highest praise
Your penis a spear
I love it when you spar
Your body is the universe
And your penis the brightest star
Author notes
I'm in a bit of an anti-relationships phase.. so I wrote this..
Anyway, this is meant to be a parody of two poems.. One Shakespeare's sonnet ...(Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?.. i forgot the title) and the Penis Song from the movie The Sweetest Thing.
Hmmmm...comments??
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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hahah. i really liked this. its so true and i love the contrast. it actually made me laugh.
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This is absolutely hilarious! So true, most men want their man part to be put high up on a pedastool. Thank you for sharing this delightful poem.
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I'm glad other people liked this, I did not.
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oh how i love this... let me count the ways! the difference in the mind of a man and a woman is so perfectly shown in the change of voice. the grace and the complexity paints a gorgeous picture of a woman, while the clumsiness and simplicity paints a hilarious and striking picture of a man. the frustration is brilliantly portrayed and is very clear even from the first line of "What a dude wants his gal to say." exquisite.
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Hee Hee....
Thank you for such a delightful write. I loved the way your two poems were so completely and utterly different. How unfortunate though that men are (not all luckily) egotistical where only mere words for most woman would be enough. I do see your anti-relationship phase shining through, but I still think you should keep writing like this even when you pass by this phase. PS:Loved the rhyme. -
Such a trip..lmbo~
This is funny.. 
Thanks for making me laugh, I needed that.
Keep up the humor, or is this humor..lol..
Peace, Timothy
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Oh I love it! Very well said and well done! The frustration is evident. And the rhyme well done, I really love the two completely different takes! Great job!
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I enjoyed this, nice take on relationships.
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Ha, this is so funny....and so true. Kinda sad how realistic this is..
Thanks for posting this. It made me laugh. Great job and I hope your anti-relationship phase goes ok.
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This is brilliant - I immediately got the Shakespeare references!! This is a witty reversal of conventions, and seems so true!!! It also made me think of sonnet reversed by Rupert Brooke. The eloquence of the first part it totally offset by the second, and the tone is completely different, which adds to the overall effect.
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Holy Krap.
This is serious stuff. I really liked the 1st poem and think you are definatly pro. you have hit the nail on the head on the different aspects of mens and womens different thought pattern.(not me though)lol.
Your divinity is my saving grace
This line is sooooo true regarding the fairer sex for me.if it were not for my wife i would be a clod.
the second poem is sooo true also, we men need our loins looked after to feel important(not me) lol.
It makes my body shiver
‘coz your penis is so bulky
The biggest I’ve ever seen
It makes other men sulky
this is halarious. but true.
keep up the good writing.
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