I am lost once again
Drowning in this sea
Of forgotten dreams
I remember your voice
From a far away land
It pulls me down under
To a dream I once knew
I am lost once again
Drowning in this sea
Of forgotten dreams
Memories of long ago
Caress my ravaged soul
I am lost once again
Drowning in this sea
Of forgotten dreams
I remember your voice
From a far away land
It pulls me down under
To a dream I once knew
A contest entry
- Elemental Rounds by kerrypn.
625 points, ended August 22, 2009, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is quite dark and intense, I thought the repetition of "drowning in this sea" really consolidated that. I thought the tone was quite melancholy too. Thought provoking and well written. Thanks for entering and good luck
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This is a strange byt interesting peice, it is the same seven lines repeated three times with a slight variation in the middle sestet. This made me feel slightly mad as i kept on getting deja vu and i had to re-read to check i wasnt going mad and it was actually repeating itself. it manages to convey the feeling of a dream within another dream within a dream deeper and deeper and every time you become lost and dragged down further. I was unsure when i first read it but now i really want to read it again, great piece.
-Amy
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