Thoughts scattered in the wind
Clarity I seek to find
Tattered fragments of my mind
Tho' my shadow says not so
On this earth I don't exist
Empty feelings do persist
Tattered fragments of my mind
Each day a heartbeat of fear
It seems I'm not really here
Empty feelings do persist
Who am I on planet earth
Tis been so since day of birth
It seems I'm not really here
Tho' my shadow says not so
Thoughts scattered in the wind
As life's wild storms still blow
Author notes
"Each day a heartbeat of fear
Who am I on planet earth
Clarity I seek to find
On this earth I don't exist
Tho' my shadow says not so
Each day a heartbeat of fear"
Not to be thrown to the wind Bro...the 2nd lines that is *Waste not the words of a poet*
Help!!!
'New Ripple form' I am trying! (Yep really trying)
See contest if intrigued!
So what's new it won't line up! Aaaagh!Kevin?
In a list
A contest entry
- A Ripple Contest by WarrioroftheHeart.
525 points, ended July 6, 2007, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Wonderful write
I am not a pro at all the forms of poetry. I just love to read the feeling and awesome thoughts of others. And this write was just that. You have been my idol since day one. There is no one else that can turn dust into petals of love like you. Love (LISA)
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Thanks Lisa...I am a Jill of some forms and master of none
I am trying to promote this form more that the write itself.
I do hope you give it a try
Linda
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Off the planet again????
Great job, you got the form right, looks like
I can put the whip away
good luck in the contest, I'll just toddle off and find a rope will I?? -
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Thanks for the Bronze...worth the sweat!!!
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YOU BETCHYA
You may judge this one
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I don't know the ripple style, but I can see a pattern in there somewhere. But, I like the way you wrote this, the words flow and match the feelings of the thought you are portraying.
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There is a pattern but I was expelled from sewing class in High School...I still canna follow it properly...Practice makes ...you exhausted!!!
Goosey
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You got it...once you relax into it you actually enjoy yourself. I am so proud of my teacher...remember, you exist for us.
you and send Good luck in the contest
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Much appreciated comment hon...took forever...not the words but the gismo guff I cannot get. He is gonna pay for this!!!
Humble Tor'mentor
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Ok hun, the lining up has got to be a site thing (imagine that!)
My recommendation would be in the line that says...
"empty feelings persist" I would add the word do, so it reads empty feelings do persist. Though there is no actual meter to this form, it will make the lines run more smoothly.
You got the actual pattern down properly. Like I said, there isn't any particular count or beat so to speak. It just needs to roll off the tongue and not trip up the mouth.
The lines would go a lot like this...
A
B
b
C
D
d
b
E
e
d
F
f
e
C
A
c
Each capital represents a start line, each lower case of the same letter represents a rhyme with that. (probably just confused you more) I am going to try and write another piece on it, maybe a little more simple, without being so confusing. Adrian starts at the bottom, I don't. But then I don't actually plan it out, I just write it.
I think this is done wonderfully though.
Storm -
The structure of this certainly goes with the topic. I'm sure you're only a little bit nuts! Great write as always cuz! big
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Thanks for the
'only a little bit' has she not told you yet I am completely nuts!!!???? -
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I was trying to be kind. I was worried you might go right off the deep end if I was too nasty!!! Keep up the brilliant work, you nut job!
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Hmmm...I think you need intense therapy of lots ofs, followed up by numerous
s, and a few of these 
s. I sense all is not well? Love you my most favouritist person in the world 
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I do not know if it is right or not and canna get the sucker to line up...perhaps I should leave it as scattered thoughts dictate huh? (fate as it be at this time in life)
Ya Buddy
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