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candy

With silver stars on your face
And neon pink lips,
You mesmerized with every swing of your hips
Down the rain-soaked streets
With the tangerine glow of lamplight
Clashing dangerously with your hair.

Candy is my addiction,
My saccharine sweet affliction
Like adrenaline to my heart,
And now I can't let go.

You said 'We're all imperfections,
Face it' and sauntered into the dark,
Leaving me with palpitations
Alone with silver stars in my palm.


Author notes

Inspired by a line from this contest: http://allpoetry.com/contest/2353296 and the picture that went with it, but what I was writing didn't really fit so just a normal post today

Random stuff... vaguely remembered an Ash song called 'Candy' so wrote about someone's infatuation.

Think it needs more adding to it, but oh well lol

Rosie x

critical comments welcome

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • X-Lovely-X
    October 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love this it's so good!

  • my name here
    June 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    And neon pink lips,
    You mesmerized with every swing of your hips
    it rhymes too! i didnt notice that the first time i read it


    • Nanase
      June 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      that's because I use rhyme sparingly hehe

  • my name here
    June 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Candy is my addiction,
    My saccharine sweet affliction
    -my favourite thing uve ever wrote! it even ryhmes hoorah

  • Acetylene wishes
    June 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    off my tits? shit, where have my tits gone?


  • Aureola
    June 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    heyy
    i like this lots, i looked at that contest too, but then i decided i didnt wanna write about my imperfections because i had some friends to meet later that evening and didnt wanna miss it loll so i probably wouldve ended up writing something like this, which i dont want cuzz i already have something like it, called vinyl lips. anyways, im rambling, but it's not as bad as the comment before me, right? lol whata weirdo.
    this is really great, and i can see how many people get infatuated with those glittering starlets these days, and for some it turns into a depression... very good choice of words, i especially liked the first stanza.
    well done, keep it up
    Aureola♥

    • Nanase
      June 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks

      Oh that was just my mate lol, I talked to him online and he was off his tits on rum so I told him to drunk-comment this poem

      He didn't get that I meant about the poem lol

      Rosie x

  • Acetylene wishes
    June 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ther was a man in nantuckeit
    that removed a rib to reach his umm suckity

    Anyways i be the drunkzors and you asked for a comment so i say this
    a social commetn
    why are all the fat peopel white?

    i say this because i am fat

    in a manner quite befitting my thin nature, there is only one god and he is made out of glue

    GLUE i tell you, and he stickas o you

    eurgh god boogies, stuck to your face

    or rther, your face is a god boogie

    yes im frunk and i also madwe not out of glue but out of ppooo

    i am the poo mnan, son of hte devil, trying to level the plqying field dude


    Drunk

    nwo thats a spanenr ham

1 - 12 of 12