Paint me gold
And put me on a pedestal
As I have done to myself
With a Midas touch [that has nothing to do with the brakes]
Assist me in living my
Illusions of grandeur
Stroke my ego a little [and not the delicious toaster treat]
For I pet myself often
Between the ego stroking, painting and petting
I find time to respond to all fan-mail
The same way a printer responds to ink-
A little blotchy but ever so smoothly [unless it’s a paper jam, those suck]
But then again, I don’t really glorify myself
I often poke fun at me [or in my general direction]
Because I have nothing to do with brakes, toaster treats or paper jams
[in any general direction]
Author notes
i would've taken notes but i ate my pencil and munched on the clipboard....
In a list
A contest entry
- Open House by Nicole Hanna.
2000 points, ended July 9, 2007, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
i like really long titles when im being un-smartarted
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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lo. this is great, very humorous! =) great for a morning giggle, and i love the way you wrote this poem, adding the paranthesis are genius, and the way everything just clicks together, is simply amazing! a very pleasant poem, and enjoyable!
stephanie
=) -
Very interesting. lmao. Your vocabulary and choice of words was amazing here, and I really needed a good laugh.
~ Kerri
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rotflmao
Dude this was so funny that i laughed so hard that i ended up crying. great poem dude keep up the good work. thanks for brighting my day i really needed something like this. -
This is such a lovely poem. I really enjoyed reading through this and loved the humour. You have done so well here, well done for winning the honorable metions trophy. Great work.
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Nice..
This poem is pretty hot. I am sure there is some deeper meaning is spots that I probably missed, but from what I understood, the poem was very nice and a great read! -
This poem rocks
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a little confused
think I'm out of this comedy link and I'm not really one for stream-of-consciousness writing which I suppose this is approaching. I did like the last 2 lines which drew everything together, the formal triad contrasted with the following parenthesis and it is in this last line where I find most connection and resonance. Left me with a smile
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This was a very interesting piece. It flowed very well, you portrayed your thoughts very well also. There is a lot of vivid imagery in this piece. I really put a smile on my face. I liked the lines,
"Between the ego stroking, painting and petting
I find time to respond to all fan-mail
The same way a printer responds to ink-
A little blotchy but ever so smoothly [unless it’s a paper jam, those suck]"
I can see why this poem won an honorable trophy.
All and all, a well written piece.
Keep up the good work. -
Haha, this made me chuckle out loud a couple of times in the course of the read. Its a good piece and I like the comic approach you take. Anyways thanks for sharing and Uh... have fun peting yourself, hehe
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this was great!
and in 'general', AT LEASST YOU GOT SOMETHING TO PET!!! so stop whinning! ok? and it's better to laugh at yourself, than cry all the time. understand? as far as your 'ego' goes, let me stroke it. YOU ARE WONDERFUL!!! just be glad you ain't the sucicide king. love gypsyfish (hope i spelled that right)
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I was strolling through AllPoetry, minding my own business when I suddenly stumbled upon this... and I'm glad that I did! A creative, fun write that has left me smiling. I especially like your use of brackets... brilliant!
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Oh wow. This is great. I would like it even better if it was a bit longer. But in any case, this is excellent! I love...
"I find time to respond to all fan-mail
The same way a printer responds to ink-
A little blotchy but ever so smoothly"
Great job! <3
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This is awesome! Life is such a bore if you can't poke fun of yourself... the second verse is my favorite. Thank you for sharing my friend, I thoroughly enjoyed this piece.
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But then again, I don’t really glorify myself
I often poke fun at me [or in my general direction]
lol
This is just SO you, hon..lol. It's cheeky, fun (in a melancholy way) and adorable. I really liked it [in any general direction]
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Ahaha! I absolutely adored the "for I pet myself often" line. lol. That just had me crackin' a smile so wide it's going to carry into tomorrow. Very tongue in cheek and just all over funny without coming off as being ridiculous or over-the-top. I love the constraint demonstrated here in order to make the sarcasm come off perfectly.
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