Frozen deep within my aching heart.
A forgotten love that set in like permafrost.
Penetrating also my thoughts;
as my soul slowly dies.
My life has been intensely frigid;
since the day you left.
Severe frost bite resulted
in amputation of my heart.
Thinking of all the lies;
as my blood circulates more slowly.
I'm buried under the Icicles of pain;
that you have caused me these years.
Frightful images have glaciated my hope of love.
Broken dreams have preserved my thoughts of you.
I'm a cold-hearted person;
that will never love again.
Frozen deep within my aching heart.
A forgotten love that set in like permafrost.
Author notes
Option 1-I am sorry didnt put it.(Joseph Cash)
A contest entry
- Anything && Everything (Shoot me up side the head) --all ages-- by Marilyn..
475 points, ended August 11, 2007, 58 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - He Broke Her Punk Heart.So She Broke His Emo Face (Prewrites Allowed) by Lady Nightshade.
600 points, ended November 11, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I like the ice symbology, its very vivid and powerful. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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wonderful write. frost bitten heart is a wonderful way of putting it! great work
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Thank you for entering.
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you have a great way with words, probaly all of us sometimes feel that it is better to be cold-hearted
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well if i knew what permafrost was..that might help..
but i love this poem
theres soo much emotion in it and it jus speaks your feelings soo clearly
GREAT write keep it up =D
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I know I have been there before one too many times (once is too many actually), and I think you have expressed yourself beautifully. It really is hard not to allow that "forgotten love" to rule your thoughts and "set in like permafrost" I love the imagery in this, and the use of nature as you did! Only my best thoughts for you, my friend...Bravo on the write.
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Oh yes, and the background- just perfect- but you really don't need anyone to tell you that. You have impressed me so much, you have made me fall in love with free verse again - and you made me rethink my 'definition of what a poet is'- perhaps it really is as I thought from the beginning- writing from the heart- and all the fancy wancy stuff comes natural when you truly do that. I really love this.
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wow, at first I read this poem as if this were filled with anger- but then I walked away from it, and realized it is filled with the most tender feeling of pain one can imagine. Your imagry is absolutely astounding- this is just unbelievably amazing. You have me in tears. Ironically- you have actually melted my heart with this poem. It's gorgeous.
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So heartfelt
With pain and sadness, I could feel your Pain and anguish, This write was really deep with emotions. I love the concept you used the cold of nature. I love the way you used the first to line over at the end it gave it strenght the write. Beautiful my friend. Hope all is well with you. I am here for you always Love
(LISA)
'Frozen deep within my aching heart.
A forgotten love that set in like permafrost"
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Frozen
First of all, I love the background you chose for the poem it really matches. You have an amazing ability to invoke deep images of heartache and pain that parallel with the bitter cold of winter. I truly believe this poem is publishable! Nice use of vocabulary words!! Great Job!
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nice write.....i like it..especially the line"i'm buried under the icicles of pain"..!!!
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not bad
ok i like the direction u were taking this but i do think it needs a little touching up because it seems a little forced in some places. i also think heart was used a few too many times now dont get me wrong i REALLY like this. and i think u have the ability to make me love it.
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Wow
Amazing well-written. I feel like that a lot, yet I don't know why. I've never really been left by someone. But this was written greatly and it holds details and wonderous descriptions. I understand how the frost bitten heart feels. Keep writing strong like this, cause wonderful! -
wow. this is awesome. your wording is fantastic. the way you use (i think) extended metaphor just rocks. great job. i like it. keep up the excellent work.
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