A hole in her palm
It ripped through to her wrist
Down her arm, up her neck
Tore down her back
Sliced through her legs
The drops surrounded her
A lifeless soul
The crimson drenched her
Drowned her in blood
Her last moments, screams
Made with a knife
He had ripped through her hand
Led the knife down her back
Woke her up so she could die conscious
Ever so slowly, painfully
The pain scorched through her mind
Took control of her
Drained what was left
Waiting for death
A scream lost in the night
Author notes
Nightwish
Option #12(gory & disgusting)
Dear Amanda,
Nice contest you got here. A lot of options.
A contest entry
- Love me to death.......KILL ME. by Clinging-to-Life.
420 points, ended July 9, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Gore Contest by eating vertigo.
370 points, ended June 24, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A cascade of magical options are flying in your face!!!!!! by AutumnsFlame.
415 points, ended June 27, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is gory... I thought it was good, but not great... I think you could've used a little more description and in the line "The crimson drenched her" I think the word "her" should be changed to "girl".... Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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Very gory and disgusting...I like it! My favorite part was "her last moments, screams. I like the mystery on why he killed her, it lets me imagine...i like that ( no offense to bleeding eternal
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=] Very good, you actually know what the word gore means.
I was rather annoyed because the other entry's filled their poetry with love and didn't make it gorey enough...
Though this isn't the most terrifying, you at least stayed on topic.
Thankyou for entering my contest, greatly appriciated.
~Raven
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this be awesome! sort of graphic tho...but awesome all the same!
fun
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oh, yuk. real gory. otherwise, pretty good!!!
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Well, this is a very nice peice, I especially liked the beginning, it really pulls the reader. However, heh yes, unfortuantley there is a BUT.
You havent mentioned WHY he killed her, did he know her? was she his gf? his ex? a neighbor, sister...? I would have liked to see a bit more detail here. But none the less, it was a good write. Thanks for entering Goodluck -
Well, this is a very nice peice, I especially liked the beginning, it really pulls the reader. However, heh yes, unfortuantley there is a BUT.
You havent mentioned WHY he killed her, did he know her? was she his gf? his ex? a neighbor, sister...? I would have liked to see a bit more detail here. But none the less, it was a good write. Thanks for entering Goodluck
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