Looking out over the distant sea,
Wondering what awakened me,
The rain last night left scars on my widow pane
I can still hear the rolling thunder fill my mind,
Crashing and banding,
Incessantly drowning on and on.
Little beaded droplets floating down from the rolling grey sky,
The rain falling onto my roof like my heart beat,
It’s fading as the dawn draws nearer,
The morning after and the water drops of dew are sown on the spider’s webs,
The birds tweeting off in the distance,
The rain last night left scars on my window pane,
A contest entry
- The Angel of Rain by Ted E Bare.
300 points, ended July 17, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The vivid trail of these drops leads from the imaginary to the true. A scope of lavish perception over your own thoughts, and I like that.
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Cheers. I try to end all my poems with a comma. I dont really know why, it's just with some poems I cant, it's heard to explain, if it has to look right and some poems dont look right with out this but other poems it's different. If that makes ny sence at all. lol. Thank you for your comments. x
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I enjoyed your write very much as it was wonderfully descriptive and flowed rather nicely. However, I thought you meant to end with the line:
"The rain last night left scars on my window pane,"
So in my mind I had replaced the comma with a period. If this is not the case, you may want to check and see if part of it was cut off when you posted your entry.
Thank you for entering my contest titled, "The Angel of Rain."
Ted E
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