When Dripping silence lay beside
And wake the crimson desires those used to hide
Cuddly cloud whispers in my ear
Beats of my soul adorns with rainbow hues and says you're near
A contest entry
- 100 entries, 5 lines or less, imagery. by Floorboards.
1040 points, ended July 7, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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very nice indeed, made me feel all fuzzy. thank you very much for entering my contest and good luck to you,
floorboards. -
"cuddly" too cute a word for this piece, I think.
Your first two lines ar e great, the second two don't work as well. "rainbow hues" kinda cliche phrase also.
Below (I think) is better:
"Wind whispers in my ear
Beats of my soul say you're near" -
Very good Shapla. Short so also sweet.
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Thanks for your comment.
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A very good poem.
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Thanks a lot for your comment.You've always been so encouraging.
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Hmm, good diction. I liked the title "Intuition".
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Thanks dear.
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