The bastion of Anva’lenore stands empty
Its master is fallen to shade
They Great Alaric Greyvictor is vanquished
And rusted is his titian blade
Once a mighty warrior, and always a sage
The last of a line passed away
He roams through vacant Anva’lenore
Clad in robes of silver and gray
But for King and Country he did Quest
To fight a foe of highest might
Riding boldly to the fate he’d foreseen
Unerring ‘gainst the fear of night
To the plains of contestation and death
He rode with his army bold
Unafraid of the dark fate that lay waiting
Beneath banners red and gold
With a company proud and tall he stood
Beneath the dawn’s soft rains
Guarding the path down which many fled
Woman, and children, and wains
Then at last his dusking enemy arrives
With armies of deepest might
His aura blocking out the gilded sun
And driving back the light
Against one another the mighty came
And warred for hours long
Their contest lasting the span of days
Worthy of legend and song
Then upon the plains the war was ended
And put off was blackest fate
But forecasts made were forecasts met
And also fell Alaric the great
Then long did his own people mourn him
Loath of the life he lost
Reveling in the glory of a confrontation won
But despising of the cost
Myriads of long years have passed since
Signs of war are washed away
The stains of the shade have faded to ashes
And forgotten is Alaric the grey
And empty stands his Bastion mighty
Upon hills of silver and jade
The home of the long forgotten martyr
Where his bones are laid
Author notes
Dark.
Its not exactly new (or about a mercinary, per se) but hopefully you'll enjoy it all the same. If i think of something new i may add it instead, but for now, if you'll have this piece, I'll leave it stand.
Um... Okay. Basically this is a re-write of a really old poem of mine. I've made it shorter, and tried not to say the same thing as many times. Also, i've tried to diversify my grammer a bit so as to set it apart from the norm...
The Origional: http://allpoetry.com/poem/1284546
A contest entry
- Fantasy Extreme by Star-of-David.
353 points, ended June 26, 2007, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
3 claps...9pts
The Poetic Bandits
~Lilac
-
Excellent. I was never bored reading this. The revision is very nice. The words you chose were good, and the story line was very enjoyable to read. Good job.
-
Wow~ This write is totally deserving of a win! WTG on silver~ its awesome! I can see how much work you put into it~ & you did a fabulous job!!!! NICE work!
-
Excellent!!!
I can always count on you to come up with an amazing story full of excitement, adventure and fantasy.Excellent rhyme and flow, very well crafted and a very enjoyable read...Congrats on the silver, well deserved!
Love & Light
Debbera
-
Gallant
It is impossible to remain indifferent to such gallant poetry. I was captured by its flow and charm, such great imagery! Well done my Bandit friend.
Dennis
-
I love epic poems about fantasy. I write fantasy stories for a hobby. I much enjoyed your poem. Good luck to you ion the contest.
-
really written beautifully and an interesting story being told. it's hard for me to keep my attention with longer poems occasionally, but yours was gripping and didn't let go! awesome.
-
I love all the descriptive words, and the details were astonishing! It's also a very good story, you have amazing talent!! Keep writing.
-Kaitlyn-
-
Wow what an excellent fantasy write!! You have such a way with your words and expressing them. You have so much talent and it shines through. Good luck in the contest. I am so glad that I read your poem!!
-
Usually the only way I can tolerate longer poetry is for it to be a true narrative like yours. Wonder meter and easy rhyme throughout, and it held my attention to the end.
-
Wow, this is really something. It made me want to read it because it told a story of a hero forfeiting his life to protect others. I love the language, it is different to the norm and it made it more interesting. This is an extremely great poem by quite a talented poet.
Good luck in the contest, this has become a favourite already.
SaintJimmy
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
