Oh dear, Oh dear.
F
A
L
L
I
N
G
F
A
L
L
I
N
G
into a deep, drastic world of color
[Itsy bitsy] bottles made of [GREAT BIG] tendencies
I walked into a small pool of light
[I had a twisted little story to tell back home]
I met that striped cheshire cat
He thought he had me going
[BABY BABY] I'm just a hooker in disguise
Don't let the cute little face fool you, darling
I fucked the Mad Hatter first
Then, that crazy March hare
Oh, how his little fur went every which way
[I gave them the best damn un-birthday they've ever had]
Then, I went on my way
Twirling my hair, shaking my hips
If I played my cards right:
Belle: a bookworm
Cinderella: a fraud
Snow White: a dirty little slut
[I'm just cute little girl looking for some love]
Then that silly little rabbit
racing, racing for the time
That stupid little fucker will never make it
[Then..the screams in my dreams enveloped me]
You defied me, Knave of Hearts
You stole all of my god-forsaken tarts
"He did no such thing!" I stepped in to say
[OFF WITH HER HEAD! the big bitch yelled]
My eyes watered just a bit
The blue dress was in t a t t e r s
I had been through so much, I said
I was only a child
[Young and so alone, shivering, quivering to the bone]
Just as my world began to spin ever so wildly
I heard a CRASH! and B O O M..
[It was only a dream..]
Author notes
[4] Pervert a fairytale: Alice In Wonderland
LovelyLittleMess!
1st & last option.
LovelyLittleMess
twisting a fairytale, number 8.
LucyLightning.
A contest entry
- DontYouFakeIt by AshliiAsphyxiation.
1000 points, ended June 30, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - No work required for this contest. Prewrites only. by yoopea.
617 points, ended July 21, 2007, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [Baby Tug The String On My Back, Maybe I'll Breathe A Little Longer.] by SarahEatsAirplane.
343 points, ended August 21, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I LikeOptions! Yes i DO! I like options how about you! by edit my world..
581 points, ended October 8, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
uhhh i dont know what to say
-
OOO. Delicious. I love it. I adore Alice in Wonderland and this is a wonderfully original, witty (love the dissing the Disney Princess bit, but I do love belle, thought). Alot like the book itself, witty, a bit nonsensical, and yet clear at the same time. I thought this was a wonderful (should you pardon the pun) and creative addition to the sight. I hope it was as much fun to write as it was to read. Congratulations on writing such a fun piece.
Sincerely,
Lillian Madeline
P.S Have you read Frank Beddor's "The Looking Glass Wars" and "Seeing Redd"? They are fascinating retellings of "Alice in Wonderland". For example, "Alice" is turned to "Alyss" the crown princess of Wonderland, and the "Mad Hatter" is actually the queen's body guard "Hatter Madigan". The Queen of Hearts becomes Alyss' evil aunt "Redd" and the Cheshire Cat is Redd's top assassin "The Cat" those are just to name a few. If you've read it already, then wonderful. If not, then either way, this poem was witty and creative, splendid, masterful job. If I could give it more applause then I would.
-
this was an amazing dirty pretty...the whole fairy tale thing made it really good...the wording you used really shows some effort...great job and good luck in the contest
xXsewn2getherXx
-
oh.. my.. gawd..
this is amazing dollface
like.. more than amazing.. perfect!!
thanks for entering && good luck!!
P.S! please put ur name in the authour comments thank you doll.
xoxo
-alice
-
Oh my gahh this is amazing.
I loved the way you used things from the fairy talee in this, and you did it so well. this is excellent!
-
Wow that was really,creative, funny,deep, meaningful, intense and so much more, we all have our own fairlytale lies! Great use of creativity!!!
Keep it up
KayDee
-
Thats rocks!
As a true Carrollian (or wannabe....) I heart this!!
Very fun poem! You used stuff from book/movie and from your imagination!
-
This was good.
I like the imagery and the ending.
Great job! <3 -
Woww, woww, woww!
I loveee Alice In Wonderland && I loveeed how you perverted it. You made it a much more interesting fairytale.
You worded it fanatisly && it just flowed like red wine into a glass. You set it out amazingly && it was just so easy to read && I couldn't tear my eyes from the screen.
I fell in loveee with this, like ALL your spectacular poems. You really know how to get peoples pulse beating.
I met that striped cheshire cat
He thought he had me going
[BABY BABY] I'm just a hooker in disguise
Don't let the cute little face fool you, darling
I fucked the Mad Hatter first
Then, that crazy March hare
Oh, how his little fur went every which way
[I gave them the best damn un-birthday they've ever had]
I really, really think thoughs were my favourite lines, but of course! I can't forget that your last line was most certainly the one that kept me hanging there.
BEST of luck in the contest, although I doubt that you will need any of it.
-
Aw This Is Great!
Wrote Something Similar Not Long Ago!
Mwah!
xx
-
Usually not my style, but I find this absolutely amazing. I adore it. I love the flow and layout of it. Great twist on a classic.
Have a wonderful day and best of luck,
FallenPoeticAngel
-
beautiful
i love the flow of this piece. as well as the way the layout was for it! definately made it enjoyable and fun to read outloud! great write and keep pennin'
jasmine
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
