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The Nightingale

 

 

               And the tears I cry,

              well from a soul touched

              only by you.

 

                I know I will

             drown breathing

             the Sauvignon tones

             of my seduction,

             and I will gasp

             for air

             as the nightingale

             sings sad love songs.

 

             I give you

             more than I can dream,

             and you,

             you just take it all...

 

             Let me go and

             live in peace;

             the soft whisper

             of your voice

             in my mind,

             will veil the echoes

             of my heart as it

             screams death, and

             every day,

             I will love you more

             than I ever knew

             I could.

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24
  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    October 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your heartfelt entry, Josephine


  • capricornpoet
    August 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    masterful

    Lyrical , deep with poetic verve, love endures,
    sadness steeped..shakespearean ...loved this.


  • Sensual Sapphire
    July 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Why not just let it scream

    and when it has gone hoarse from the volume and rage soothe it with love and tea. This is a powerful piece elegantly simple and direct. It makes the romantic heart ache and the jaded heart believe once more that love can be found if only for a while.


  • deercatcher
    July 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Sounds like at least he was gentle...

  • Uriah Hamilton
    July 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely

    A sad beautiful write my friend, love despite emotional health, love cannot not be denied, common sense has no sway in these matters.


  • leo2
    June 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This hits home fairly deep for me now. The woman I thought that really loved me did walk away. Best of luck in the contest. It's very touching poetry without being overly dramatic.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • Judo
    June 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Sheenbot

    I am a little confused here. Please tell me if I'm wrong, but it seems the person in the poem lets the other figure be selfish and take things away and then the person gets infuriated or some thing like that. But it was a very well balanced and written poem. It was a great write!


  • Aesthete
    June 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very nice poem here. "Sauvignon tones of my seduction" and "veil the echoes of my heart" were two particularly outstanding parts. You did a great job of conveyinng the dark melancholy of unrequitted attachment.


  • XyMaya
    June 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing!!
    In all my years of reading silly little love poems,
    I have never see the "dark" side of loving someone.

    I really enjoyed this and I love how you played with the line breaks. It has a powerful flow and an amamzing story and picture to fallow!!


  • KateMadness
    June 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Awww

    I thought this was sad. I really like your word choice and the way your poem flows. Or at least, it flows to me. I like re-reading it, and I can see how it reflects the woman who in deep love for that man.

    Great work, wonderful poem!

    ~KORI~

  • Francis Vincent
    June 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    almost mystical
    the nightinga;e
    so beautiful, steadfast, gleaming
    a beautiful soliquoy


  • DepressedAngel
    June 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I give you

    more than I can dream,

    and you,

    will take it all.

    I like this alot.. very awesomeness
    Heather


  • The Fallen Phoenix
    June 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I don't know. You can kinda see a strength in the woman, even though she doesn't want to leave him, she obviously knows it's best. So, maybe she will leave.
    I agree with Eusebius; the line "The Sauvignon tones" was brilliant. Awesome job, m'dear.
    I also loved the lines;
    "will veil the echoes

    of my heart as it

    screams death,"
    Brilliance.


  • GoodKnightPoet
    June 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes we can love the wrong people. Love is a curious mystery. Why do we love the people we love? I like this poem very much but it's sad as the nightengales sing.

  • Eusebius
    June 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo

    Oh, so romantic and so very excellent! "the Sauvignon tones" what a line! So poetically masterful--wished I'd thought of it! BRAVO... BRAVO.. BRAVO...


  • AngelEyes13
    June 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yeah. Girls never walk awaay. What is it with us and never being able to let go? Thank you so much for entering my contest.


  • krosebug
    June 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very well done. Much depth of passion in this piece. I like this very much! Kaylea


  • Floorboards
    June 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    that's it now, what the hell was going on, was i tripping or something? snugglefucklesyawith greatenthusiasm!


  • Floorboards
    June 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    great stuff jan!, i really don't understand the stuff in brackets, but that's probably just me,
    Alex.

  • capricornpoet
    June 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    love and its dark side

    Mystery lady of love that leaves in the night knowing she will never return ...there is a punctual line in this poem that breaks the momentum of this lovely verve .......


    • sarajaneUK
      June 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the comment, er, a punctual line? is that good or not?

  • theleader
    June 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem. The feelings seem to be universal as they can be applied to any situation of seperation from a loved one.


    • sarajaneUK
      June 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for the wonderful comment,much appreciated. Ty sj

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