I remember driving home with a grin, smirking with delight
I shivered with joy at the sound of your voice, a melody so right
my knees weakened with every step, stumbling to the floor
my blood rushing through my veins as you opened up the door
Lightheaded, I simply walked into this world of blue
Catching every sight to see, catching simply you
You let me in with all your might; You took a chance to see
Here I give you my whole world; I give you all of me
With every moment we spend together I cherish to my heart
unclear future of where we are but a wonderful loving start
Taking what we have day-by-day keeps me alive and going
the best part of what we have is simply us not knowing
Each time I see your smile, hear your voice, and catch your scent
when you whisper in my ear, Flick my teeth or when you vent
Gazing the night watching the stars and their glorious view
reminds me the happiness I felt the moment I met you
Author notes
Love is a battlefield
Rule # 1
Giving the best =]
feelings
"The night was young, as were we. Loving in bliss under the willow tree."
In a list
A contest entry
- give me more emotion!!! by TwiztidMaggot.
345 points, ended June 21, 2007, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Take your pick... by tinyalien13.
300 points, ended July 31, 2007, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You know you want to enter this contest by KnightOfTheRose.
380 points, ended August 13, 2007, 84 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Help Me Feel Good ~ Help Me Feel Happiness! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended August 27, 2007, 30 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by Myjoy.
1000 points, ended November 16, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Happiest day of my life by Liquid memories.
525 points, ended December 9, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 71 of 71
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a sweet tender write of love feelings. success in the contest.
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Wonderful work! I love the amazing emotions it puts forth, the joy of love. I see from the trophies many others have enjoyed it as well!!!
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awwwww this is beautiful. you know it's good so I will say none else.
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This is very beautiful. I love the serene sentiment. Love abides! Keep up the great work, you will be one of the finalist, that I'm sure of
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Awww.
Such a sweet write.
xxxxx
thank you for entering
much love! -
Very sweet with personal little details of a cherished bond^^ The end wraps it up well~
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I see now why you won all those trophys! This piece was so moving and I felt connected to it at every stanza.. Mm, simply delicious!
Thank you for entering!
Live and Let Live,
Aralyn -
Sweet
This was a great write
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Simply amazing, a very great write indeed.
-Silvos.
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Wonderful work and very deserving of all the trophies you have gotten for this piece. I think it is a beautiful tribute to the love you share with your special one. Good luck in the contest and keep on writing.
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I really like this.You did an amazing job with it.Thank you for your entry and goodluck to you in the contest.Best wishes
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Wonderfully explained .... lucky people get it gurl , So keep a count of your blessing..
Happy for ya .
SJ -
This is written beautifully, I can tell it comes straight from the heart, keep up the GREAT work. I look forward to reading more from you, thanks for sharing!!
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great
i liked his very much. thanks for entering and good luck with the contest. hope to read more from you in the future. -
This was so beautiful! Great format! Great picture! Great Poem! I love your rhyming words. They're refreshing from the regular old words that rhyme. I love the emotion of your love that you tied into this poem. I also loved the story you weaved into this write. It was really great. I can just see that big smile on your face when you see him. This write is just perfect. I cannot see any errors at all! Wonderful!
"Lightheaded, I simply walked into this world of blue
Catching every sight to see, catching simply you
You let me in with all your might; You took a chance to see
Here I give you my whole world; I give you all of me"
That was my favorite stanza, about how you said you gave him yourself. I'm putting this in the finalists, so good luck! -
beautiful
This was a very impresive write it was nice to see something turn out good. I could tell this was from your heart.
Very impressive last two lines I like it.
Thanks for your entry,Good Luck in the contest. -
deep and heartfilled I LOVE IT
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I don't know what else to say but how this love sounds beautiful and eternal. Never let him go, he's a gem to you, I can tell by your expression. Hold onto love and don't let anyone take it away from you. Love makes us smile when it's raining, makes us cry but with happy tears and makes us see beauty in the most dismal of situations. That is love. Beautifully written.
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This is really really deep. It brought tears to my eyes simply by the way you penned this. It is so beautiful and the rhymes were perfect. The flow was almost perfect too (just didn't sound 100% right in a couple of places, but nothing major) and I love this write.
Thankyou for entering and good luck in my contest.
Katie -
What a wonderful write, I loved it. Thank you for entering.
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sounds
I can hear the words oh so well, sound slike true love to me, like something I've heard but sounds completely new, Good luck in contest. -
nice poem here. its simple, straightforward, yet shows the true and important parts of what you feel.
flows well, nice rhyme. good luck in the contest -
BLOWN AWAY
OMG! so many trophies on this piece and i know why! its amazing. i love how you put the picture. it really shows the love you have for him. fantastic!!!
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i like how you conveyed the five senses in this poem throughout your memory of your friend
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well i'm going to have to say that this is one of the most beautiful poems i've ever read
it has a great rhyme to it, but above all stands my favorite two lines:
"Gazing the night watching the stars and their glorious view
reminds me the happiness I felt the moment I met you"
i had to read those lines again and again
incredibly powerful
great job
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:P
i like its sweet aand seems genuen so thats cool -
Awww! I really liked this piece! Beautifully written with so much strong emotion!! The trophies this piece won are definitely well deserved!! Thank you so much for entering!! Excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!
-Steve- -
Awe. This poem makes me feel happy. I love the way you get your message across that you love him without being all... gushy(?) for lack of a better word. Very good. Thank you for entering. Good luck in my contest!
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This is a great poem.. Its simple but yet very deep .. just reading it gave me guss bumps..
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i like the flow of it and the imagery--
this is really sweet
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EXcellent Poetry!!
That was beautiful Jasmine, I'm kind of surprised! you normally don't write with such happiness! I could feel the happiness oozing from this poem! Very good work JASMINE! (how have you been?)
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Aww, it makes my heart melt! I loved this poem, it really shows what it's like being in love. Not caring what happens in teh future, only caring about the here and now. Keep up the good work!
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Congradulations! I think you are the first person to write about happiness! I feel waht you are saying and it really touched me. thank you for your entry! I think your option would be two though!! lol
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WOW! Nice write! I can feel the love that comes from this. Great use of imagery. Love the line
"Each time I see your smile, hear your voice, and catch your scent
when you whisper in my ear, Flick my teeth or when you vent
Gazing the night watching the stars and their glorious view
reminds me the happiness I felt the moment I met you"
Great write thanks for entering and good luck!
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Wow, this is such a sweet and beautiful poem, and very well written. It's great to be able to find someone so special, and you managed to convey your emotions perfectly. Wonderful job... I truly enjoyed it.
Thanks for being in my contest, and good luck. -
I'm glad you have found someone who makes you truly happen and is worth you coming home for. It's hard for many to be as happy as this and I am glad that you have found a special someone. Best wishes with the one you love =)
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A very sweet poem, I really enjoyed it. 'I remember driving home with a grin, smirking with delight
I shivered with joy at the sound of your voice, a melody so right' Sums it up so beautifully, well done and best of luck -
This is an amazing poem! The feeling is expressed well and clearly. It is worded perfectly as well.
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This is beautifully written and very touching. A wonderful piece and my pleasure to read. Love the Shine above, silver and Gold...quite well deserved
~Tia
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Dude i love it!! It was very moving and detailed. But put what option you used i know its obvious but yeah. This is great keep it up! Good Luck!
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Option is now in authors comment!
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yay!
reading this makes me so happy that u r happy!
ur words r just beautiful
and i can easily relate to the way u feel
u did an awesome job on this piece!
yay 4 u!!!!
=)
great job and keep up the great work girl!
~Natalie
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Wow...this was an incredible and beautiful piece that you have written with style and description all your own. You have added a sincere detect of emotion into this as well which works very nicely for the poem. Nicely done!
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Wow. This is truly Touching. Your words are very beautiful. This is really well written. What an awesome poem. I love it
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wow. love.
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wow. pretty nice
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you are an amazing writer
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This is completely full of love and I'm so happy for you! It's TOTALLY worthy of a trophy. The intense emotion and carefully laid rhymes and words make this an incredibly beautiful write. Wonderful. Great job. Thanks so much for sharing this. Best wishes. Take care.
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Such an offering of innocence in words, very nice.
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Wonderful and so very much alive. I could feel the warmth flow from your pen...Excellent..mal
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Such open honety and emotion....Your heart shines through. You did a lovely job on this and i look forward to reading more of your work.
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Amazing and beautifully written
piece Well done with this and
thanks for sharing it here. Good
luck to you with this one in the
contest!
Jeremy0826 -
Amazing
This poem is very beautiful. It is full of love. Thanks for the read and keep on writing
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oh my, that is amazing!
I love it, and I feel the emotion..
I can tell you love him so much, I love love poems....
And this is just that much more amazing.
I get good imagery (as I do most things) but this gives great imagery and I loved reading it
very enjoyable
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VERY, Very NICE write.
i can relate. :-)
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This was a great write I coudl feel the emotion you put into this. It was amazing I felt as if I was there. Great Job.
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awsome write
you write with so much emotion you can really feel your true feelings in this poem -
This was beautiful, and very relateable oddly enough. I liked this a lot. good job!
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SO MUCH LOVE AND DEVOTION SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WRITE
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I loved it! It shows so much emotion and it's just beautiful how someone can write so well about someone they love. I really did love reading this.
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Very nice write - good use of emotion. It's wonderful when you finally find the connection in someone that you were looking for! Good luck!
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This is such a beautiful poem. It was written with such love and devotion. Enjoyed the read.
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Dedicated feelings
A freely flew verse with vibrating thoughtsneatly chiseled to look brighter.Deep love definitely weaves magic in devoted soul.Good verse with dedicated feelings -
This was a great poem. I thought it was beautiful and full of emotion.
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wonderful
This was a beautiful poem good luck in my contest!
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Beautiful
I loved this piece you did an excellent job! Good Luck =]
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aww this is so sweet! i really enojoyed reading this, thats for sharing.
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This is really good! I loved the second to last stanza!
With every moment we spend together I cherish to my heart
unclear future of where we are but a wonderful loving start
Taking what we have day-by-day keeps me alive and going
the best part of what we have is simply us not knowing
This poem has a great amount of emotion! Wonderfully done!!! -
great job!
this is so beautiful! I love the emotion you put in this... great job!!!!! keep it up!
Crimson -
Very Good
Wonderfull set-up in this verse in the opening words
You drew me into your feelings
then the ending
Gazing the night watching the stars and their glorious view
reminds me the happiness I felt the moment I met you
Very Nice, I feel your love for him
Rick
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this is a love and passionate poem i really like because it's real....and you can't make something like that up
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