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Nose Raped

I was nose raped today while mowing
I cannot say it was attempted
for there was insect penetration

Nor can I say she was de-virginalized
for she is such a snotty slut
taking in any and all fingers

But to be beastly assaulted by a bug
who wore no protection, possibly to
be left with dreaded sinus infection
or even worse.... larva
Blow sweet child blow... those larva blues away

Hell hath no fury like a nose swarmed
and executed he was for his nasal
crimes... death by lethal shoe;
Ah, the sweet smell of success

Author notes

Summer is here and so are those damn bugs!!!!
To know you is not to love you... so bug off.
It took a serious shoe stomping for such
a serious offense.

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • pearl-dragon
    July 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I feel for you
    the only thing worse is when they fly into your mouth and exit via your nose
    my apologies, I laughed heartily at your predicament...


  • Whoochi gold member
    June 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    dam bugs...how dam funny is this...i kept thinking, no this isn;'t about bugs, its about picking your nose, wait , no its about bugs in your nose....hahahah "death by lethal shoe" squish, those dam bugs,....


  • bethan-gaze gold member
    June 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I have to confess it was the title that drew me in! But hey, what a title! And the poem you pen really does capture "this time of year syndrome" ... I hadn't thought of it as a 'nose rape' before. Cool!


  • Bionic Poet
    June 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I wish I was a fly on the wall to see that happen! I don't know why, but something about this poem bugs me.


  • YoursTrulyJulie gold member
    June 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nose raped?...How awful How dare they (bugs) think they can get away with that and not cop a good whacking with a shoe Nice one Doc You've made my day


    • LAPoe silver member
      June 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I Know!!! How dare they!!! but they do!!! I hope I never
      have to go through another trauma like this, my nose is
      much to sensitive... laurie

  • Recluse Writer gold member
    June 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Cheeky little buggers...it'snot right!!!
    De-wing them all I say
    Boogers or buggers...you just cannot win huh?
    Great start to my reading for the day
    Linny


    • LAPoe silver member
      June 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Linny, do you think I ought to have gone and gotten a
      nose rape kit and had DNA taken and tested to make sure
      I stomped the right bug? what if in my panic I killed the
      wrong one, and Mr. Nose Raper is still out there in
      my back yard waiting for the next mowing to strike again...

      Doc

      • Recluse Writer gold member
        June 22, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        That would have been a wise move Doc.
        But then again if it stuck to your shoe real good there is a 95% chance it had nasal fluid on wings...if that was the case I figure you got the culprit.
        Just in case plug your nose with mini tampons next time and the bugger will fly right past you (eeeew)
        Taking my temperature as soon as I send this
        Linny

  • soulfultia gold member
    June 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You are hysterical and SO NOT RIGHT!!! I love this, just unbelievably funny as hell! Thanks so much for gracing us with your humorous presence! Love ya girly...ha! ~Tia


    • LAPoe silver member
      June 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      He,he,,he,,, ha...ha.. Hello Tia... my nose is still
      very sensitive over this disturbing subject and may
      have to seek counseling...he...he..ha..ha... a few days
      on the couch and a lot of nasal blowing should help I
      hope... be careful is my warning.. they are out there
      those insect nose rapers... laurie
1 - 11 of 11