In the darkness she beckoned me,
Her wings as dark as shadow,
Talon's dripping flesh blood,
Her beauty a terror to behold,
Her radiance dark and glorious,
I offered her my soul,
Instead she took my heart,
Caught in unearthly paradox,
Equal mixture of pleasure and pain,
As she ripped me asunder,
And left me to die,
I felt a demon's love...
Author notes
This is an early poem that I re-wrote and turned into Embrace of the Succubus
Written August 12th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Dark, Morbid, Insane, Disturbing Options and Nothing But by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended February 16, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Macabre Madness! by Miss Macabre.
750 points, ended July 7, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I see Lilith.
I love this poem, so dark and sexy. Demons are often in my poems as they are one of my favorite subject matters. Thanks for entering and best of luck.
-
Short but sweet. That of a demons love and lust, and the depths we would have to swim to become so entangled... Love the visual description and the emotion of death and yet love, but a twisted love.
-
Ohhh..I likd this poem..i was sort but sweet...very well formated and powerful in the few lines you wrote....i enjoyed reading this and could relte to this..also I loved the last lines you picked they completed the poem perfectly!
-
Very nice write, i can see the darkness. favorite lines out of the poem was, "I offered her my soul,Instead she took my heart," Very strong depictation right there. Good job and good luck in the contest.
-
Hey thanks for reading my stuff... I don't usually like rhyming either, but on that one poem i think it works because it adds to the trite/simplicity of it, which [in my mind] contrasts with the more somber message [and makes it more somber].
but yeah... of the ones i've read so far, i like this one the most. The lines "I offered her my soul,\Instead she took my heart" are particularly interesting. Definitely made me think twice. I like how your writing is both dark and passionate.
-
Great Job
The demon's love is strong
Flesh she feeds on
Talons sharp as knives
Wants to taste you alive
Takes your heart in her hand
Leave you to writhe in pain
Heart beating dripping life
The love felt not once but twice~
~ Felt like saying it and your write was awesome~ Love the sensuality and how one could love thee~ Yet the love is deadly~ Great job on this piece~ Big hugs~ Desire
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
