Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Cold Comfort

Staring at me--

with frosty indifference.
Displeasure concealed

in the constant rumble--

of your laughter,
amid crisp sarcasm--
of uninvolved emotion;

Fingers caress your chest,
never realizing--
you had no heart.
Just an assortment of--

nerve endings,
without connection--

to soul;

Your ever present eye,
ominiously illuminating--
my faults.

Layered between thighs,
filled with dimpled--
animosity;
Where once svelte frame--

lay thinly,

within the hinges--
of your acceptance.

Now you speak  
with chocolate offerings--
of cake.

But with a delicious voice --
calling,
"why don't you smear--
that on your thighs?
It will end up there anyway!"

Your little piggy,
who once basked in the glow--

of social normality,

has become the vilified hog,
of overstuffed--

proportions;

Against my struggles--
you still enable;
Swinging freely,
trapping me within
an endless cycle--
of empty fulfillment;

And I stare at your frame,
seeing myself.
A distorted reflection,
within constantly enlarging

visions--

of self-loathing.

My tears fall unheard,
as you whir into action.

And amid the purr--

of your own perfection,

I swear I hear you call--

"here piggy, piggy--


sou-wee."...

 

 

 

Author notes

The Refrigerator,

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • BellaD
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great poem. Excellent word choices and sensory detail. Seriously mocking tone! You really capture the feelings of conflict with eating and the consequences of too much eating. You sustain the personification beautifully throughout. Well done and thank you for your entry.


  • Mirthryl
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Delightful! Love the title, and the references to chilly dependency and subtle mockery. Fabulous concluding stanza and line! Great emotional abuse write. I really enjoyed this!


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    January 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hilarious! So Bunny and so funny! So many metaphors and images, some hints, but I was flummoxed! Horrible boyfriend, mirror, scale... Fridge! Then it all made sense...


  • Melodies
    January 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The refrigerator? WOW, I had NO IDEA that a refrigerator might be so cold and evil. A cool poem, yes, oh yes...


  • Whispered Devotions
    July 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Damn! I am impessed to say the least. Honestly, I am speechless. I mean WOW! This was clever... no brilliant! The metaphors were amazing and I just was not expecting this at all. Defintely origional and the exact reason I gave that option.


    Amy


  • pickers silver member
    June 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is great! I didn't realise straight away what you were doing, but now that I now it was a refrigerator I think it's awesome! I love the part "why don't you smear/that on your thighs?/it will end up there anyway!" I think that's how many women feel! A fabulous write. Congrats and good luck in the contest!


  • coffeeangel316
    June 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very good job I think you did wonderful on it. It is going to be hard to top this good luck in the contest.


  • Tangled Angle
    June 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Bunny, you might just win this entire contest.
    Beautiful poem. You developed metaphors really well, and it was easy to follow. Most of the time people either have lots of metaphor, but no emotion [or vice- versa] but you've balanced both. Profound emotion, profound metaphor, and even stellar imagery. Great job.

    Best of luck to you.


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    June 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love the way you paint the human condition, relationships, and self. This poem is full of strong emotion and yet is peppered with little humorous bits here and there--making the emotion so much stronger! Don't know how I feel about the title. You started off there and seemed to go down a different path--maybe you went wee wee wee all the way home.

    Great job. This little piggy had roast beef. . .
    (As a Canadian, are you familiar with the piggy references??)

1 - 9 of 9