They’re telling me I’m getting better,
I’ve been eating my food
and I went for a walk today.
I even smiled
just because the sun was shining.
and I’ve been dreaming
such nice dreams.
they told me today…
I can leave today.
I packed my bags this morning.
they all smiled and I smiled back.
actually, everyone was smiling,
and god, it was just so nice.
now I’m sitting in my room,
on my little steady bed
that’s just bursting with memories.
they haven’t pulled out the restraints
in such a long, long time now.
they say I’m getting better.
But they also look at me
like I’m an unsuspecting child
and no matter how I try to explain
they don’t see that I am real.
they just say I’m getting better
because that’s what they see
when they look at the test results.
I went for a walk yesterday
just as the sun was setting.
the stars had already arrived
and though they were only dim
they reminded me of you.
I whispered up to them
and I whispered out to you.
They looked at me this morning
and said I’m getting better.
“you’ve been eating all your food,”
they said, as they nodded approvingly.
they told me to stay away
from any knives or razor blades,
but they say I’m getting better
and I know they’re very proud.
I’ve been staring out my window
and I can hear the birds.
and it seems so strange to me
that the sun is shining
and I’ll be walking in its warmth
but you won’t be by my side.
They say I’m getting better
but I’ve known that myself for weeks.
and I’m happy I’ll be leaving,
I get to walk out through the gate.
I had the nicest dream last night,
we were dancing in the stars.
I hated to wake up from that dream
and then I remembered
that way of thinking is what brought me here.
I had to get out of bed this morning
so I can get out of here.
They walk in and they say I can go,
but I just keep staring,
staring out the window.
and I refuse to go.
I like that I’ve been eating
and I’ll stay away from all sharp things.
I don’t even need to be in here
but you’re not here to see me go
and you’re not here to hold my hand.
They say I’m getting better,
and I like that,
I like that a lot.
but I don’t need to see the world.
you're not out there for me,
so I’ll just stay right here.
I can see the stars here
and I can go for walks here
and if I stay here forever I can pretend
that you’ll be here
when visiting time comes again.
Author notes
im ultimate beluga
A contest entry
- best everything by sociaL IntollErance.
300 points, ended November 5, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your best, most beloved write by Austere.
2300 points, ended February 10, 2008, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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this is awesome and i know exactlly how you feal
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very well writen, very well flowing, very well everything i guess. this is such a powerfull wright. if your talking from personal experience i hope you dont end up like that again. but if you do i hope you wright a nother just like this one.
LOVE ENGRA -
This is really sad, full of emotion.
Getting better, that's good. So many disorders, cutting, all of that stuff has become an obsession with certain people. I'm glad that people can get over it.
It really hurts when the person that you care for is gone, and can't see the progress, and can't see the pain you're going through. My advice for anyone is to just simply go and live life the way you want it to be, no matter how hard it is to leave things behind.
This was sad, but honestly beautiful all at the same time. I think that you did a great job on this one, telling the story how it was, all of that stuff.
Sincerely,
~Poetrydove~ -
Great content
the emotion in this is great even though it is set to a monotone flow. I could feel the pains of eating disorders and cutting. this actully one of the few poems in this genre i like. but the last two stanzas seem a little two simple for a poem with such power. i love the Im getting better parts too. very well done just try to spice it up. If you want an example check out my poem Cafe 92 its a eye catching naritive set to a monotone flow.
Great write keep it up
Bryant -
I cannot get over how amazing your poems are, truly beautiful!
This was a little darker, and although I hope this isn't a personal experience you went through-if it is you encaptulated the emotion and imagery very well.
The only suggestion I could make is that you have some full stops that aren't really needed because the poem flows so well, but other than that bravo!
love and peace
halleluja
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this is a great write, wow, lol. i like the way its worded, and the steady flow of the rhyme. its a masterpiece, love it! your a very talented poet.
'wolf
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