She wasn't there for years of my life
Her lifeless body laying on the sheets
In a dark tomb like room
Ice cream sliding down her slumped form
Sleeping in mid sentence
Unable to keep her mind aware
I cried as I watched her...
Every time she slept
Every time she walked to the kitchen
For her third heaping cone of cherry lime-aid sherbet
She spoke in accusing tones
"This family doesn't care how I feel!"
Well I always did...
and when I said I wanted you to be happy..
you threw it in my face...
I cried right there
But you didn't care...
I thought for sure you'd die at this rate
I'd cry myself to sleep
Would this pain ever end?
Why weren't you well?
I could tell something was wrong
when you ended up in the mental wing of the hospital
Where were you?
Oh, mother, would you live?
And then..
One day you left and went away
and when you returned you were a new woman
Filled with life
and I cried right there
Hoping you wouldn't see
For I was so happy
Eyes full of life
Body healthy and thin
Your voice filled with joy
Oh, my mother, you live
And to this day, a single mother
You keep yourself clean for our sake
we sit by your side
and the world goes by
As we tell ourselves
Finally, this is the life
With our mother whole again
Fighting the addiction.
Author notes
It almost made me cry to write this. I had to dig deep to allow myself to bring up the past and its pain. (This only was resolved a year ago)
A contest entry
- Anger and rage + a tear drop stain by okadadokie.
600 points, ended July 4, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Positivity Stemming from Addiction by aslanlight.
740 points, ended July 8, 2007, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Courageous and powerful!
This is so emotional and you made me feel everything with you. The imagery of your mum going to the kitchen for more ice-cream and you not understanding what's wrong but knowing something is is so harrowing!
Then when your lovely new healthy looking mum walked in the door, wow, the tears and joy welled up in me and I still have tears in my eyes now.
I know what it's like to not be there for my son and to be a new person now.
Peace Georgia
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It must have been hard for you and your family. I can tell how brave you are by writing your feelings in a poem. Thanks for the write. Luck be to you.
~Oka/KC -
Omg. I am so sorry. I know what this is like(ish) I really hope your okay. I don't really know what to say. I'm really sorry. This is really deep and you can't make this shit up. Keep Fighting.
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Thank you for your concern. Actually, my mother got help about a year ago, and has been back home for almost a year. She is better and things are fine now, but for most of my life she was on stuff, so yeah. Again, thanks. ^.^
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