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Insomnia

Miles of fence and yet no sheep
No Shepherd in the distance
Walking abandoned, on this dirt path
Not another soul to speak with

Ahead a forest of dead trees
No sign of life around them
All dirt, decay, and rot to see
Not a single color near here

Traveling alone on this dim path
No others to be here with
Trapped in my mind of pain and toil
Not a trace of relief in the future

In the forest all hope is lost
No moment of relief now
Laying in bed with the lights turned on
Not a second of sleep to reclaim here

Author notes

option 1

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • L000
    October 12, 2007
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    The first stanza is phenominal - what a unique stance on an old goodie . the entire poem envelopes you and holds you suspended above this detailed scene you have so diligently created here ! thank you so much for this read , keep penning .

    glass fingers


  • Sinnastarr silver member
    August 13, 2007

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    This is something that a lot of people go threw. You captured the feeling very well. This was a good read.
    Keep up the good work


  • God is my reality
    August 10, 2007

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    Wow, this is so deep so dark. I can feel the emptiness that you are feeling. The imagery is so vivid. The flow is natural. Everything about this poem is perfect. It is truly astonishing. It is so sad, but in the same way beautiful.

    Miles of fence and yet no sheep
    No Shepherd in the distance
    Walking abandoned, on this dirt path
    Not another soul to speak with

    This shows the loneliness that so many people feel. It is amazing, and so creatively written


  • Eyes Full of Rain
    June 21, 2007

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    Bloody good

    This is a great depiction of what I feel it would be like to have insomnia. the miles of fence and yet no sheep was a nice line...I've got to say it made me chuckle a bit at how brilliant it was. I like the way you express the feelings of insomnia with words like dim, dead, trapped, decay, dirt, etc, which is a great way to look at the zombie like state you are in with insomnia. You depict the feeling of nothing being real and everything seeming so far away very well. Good job.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    June 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is quite a predicament to find yourself in.
    When you are out on your own and find that there
    is no life in the world, it can really tear your
    world apart. Thoughts and feelings like this could
    keep anyone up for a very long time. Well done and thanks a lot for sharing this here with me! I appreciate your entry in my contest and wish you the best of luck with it! Keep up the wonderful work here!




    Jeremy0826

1 - 5 of 5