You're too young for all of this,
Just a three year old baby girl.
You watch with mouth dropped open
As the ambulance takes him away,
To where you don't understand,
You don't cry, but you'll wish you did.
The only daddy you had died that day,
It took years for you to comprehend.
Now, a five year old sits quietly
Wondering where he was taken to.
You know that when that door opens
You'll have no protection, no saviour.
Daddy would protect you if he could,
He'd treat you like no one has before.
Just seven years old and on your own,
I reach to fix the ribbon in your hair
And you jump away with eyes so scared.
I know you've already been tarnished
But I don't know how I can save you.
Author notes
I found her a few times. I wanted so badly to take her away, I couldn't. I can't believe how much I cried writing this.
A contest entry
- Connecting With Your Inner Child (Creative Writing Workshop) by kareneisenlord.
710 points, ended June 30, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Beautiful
I am very suprised you did not place at least 3rd but either way this is just another well penned poem and I like it. any ways this is just a really i credible poem. I really felt your heart open and your e-motions explode beautifully rheough out. anyw ays great all round poem and enjoyed readng it. keep up the good work.
Signed, Paul 
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All of the entries in this contest/workshop were absolutely amazing. It was a little agonizing to judge because I was moved by each and every one of them and through them, many of my own feelings and issues surfaced and found new resolution and hope. I sincerely wished that there were more than three main trophies to give out here, because they were more that were deserving. I was very inspired by each of your stories and the courage that you all show coupled with your fantastic ability to transform your hurt and suffering into hope and healing. Since you were all so good, I decided to focus on the following points for judging the winners of the trophies, much of which was emphasized originally in the contest criteria ; Following directions: (i.e. making a genuine connection, dialogue or interaction, and resolution). How it was resolved: Was I left with a sense of hope and healing? Emotional Catharsis- Did the writing bring out the readers' own feelings and reactions. (I read other readers responses, besides my own, as well). Poetic Ablility and Grammar- Important here but not the most important; was the writing grammatically correct and clear in expression, keeping it simple yet creative? It was not easy to choose, and you all received points and Honorable Mention for your new write, which was well-deserved! Thank you all for participating in this workshop contest and I know it was not an easy one. I am grateful for those of you who felt ready to take up the challenge as well as for those of you who had the wisdom to know if it wasn't right for you now.
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I know how intense this is for you, and you are very courageous to have taken these first steps to contact your inner child. It sounds like it went well; even the crying that you did was good. The grief that was never expressed outwardly all of those years is surfacing and expressing itself- the sadness over the loss of your father and the little girl that lost him.
Relating to your poem came easy to me, as I lost my father through divorce and abandonment around the same age as your father passed away. I could so identify with the vulnerability and not being protected as a child that you relate in your poem, as well as being on your own at such a young age.
It appeared that you were moving very quickly in your poem, starting at three years old, then five, and jumping to seven. You probably took it much slower in reality than your write portrays. I'm wondering if you can try it again and take it more slowly. These things cannot be rushed and your inner child may have felt that. Like at three years old; explain what is happening on a level that a three-year-old understands and just be there with her, holding her hand so to speak. Then, move to five years old and talk to her in an age-appropriate way that a five-year-old can comprehend. When you are both comfortable and satisfied there, move to the seven-year-old. She may be willing to let you adjust her ribbon this time around. Also, I wouldn't do more than one age in one session with her, as trying to cover too much is too over-whelming for both of you. You both need time to let things settle. Like anything worthwhile, it takes time and cannot be forced. Let it happen naturally and in it's due time.
It's about building a relationship with her, of trust and love and just being there for her. You did very well though, and this is just a suggestion. I think that it went very nicely for the first time. You, at least, found her. That is a HUGE step. Remember, it is an ongoing relationship and will unfold in time. You did a great job with this and I really appreciate that you entered it into the contest. Thank you and best wishes in the contest and on your continuing journey with your Inner Child! Remember, you are your Inner Child's champion. Be friends and relish and discover life anew together! Another suggestion might be for you two to do something totally non-threatening together, something that you both love; a picnic, painting; something that your inner child and the older you can enjoy together and just "BE". Above all, be happy together!
By the way, the graphics are amazing. Very talented, you and your Inner child!
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Thank you for the wonderful comment. I just have to note that he wasn't my real father, (my real father is still alive unfortunatly for some) however he was the only real father figure I had. God knows I loved him as a real father.
I'm thinking I won't re-write/write another poem for this contest, contacting my inner child wasn't extremely hard but I can't deal with the emotional side anymore. Thank you for the oppurtunity though, it made me realise just how scared I was. We're only a product of our parents though.
Wonderful contest, thank you for everything.
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I appreciate your note. I actually wasn't asking that you do more for this contest. You did enough and I respect that you should only do and move ahead with what you feel comfortable with. Maybe sometime in the future, but I would suggest doing a little bit at a time only, and only when you feel ready to. Thank you for your response. I know that this is a very emotional and intense subject matter to deal with!
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I hear you!
Loved your poem and I hope too that in the distant future this poem will have a happy ending of how you can reach that child and give her something for her future. I've seen alot of your writes and you write well. I've enjoyed them. Love the new name too.
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I'll definitly try to give her something. Thank you for the wonderful comment, thank you.
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Hopefully in the distant future this poem will have concluding verses bringing this spellbinding story to a joyful ending
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Maybe one day it will be different, hopefully I can eventually save the girl.
Thank you for the wonderful comment
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