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Everything I Can't Say

I wish I had the nerve to go up to you
and tell you everything that's on my mind
How I think about you and I can't stop it
How easy it would be if you were attracted to me
Happy, fun, exciting, new, enjoyable

What would I do?

I'd want to be with you
and hope that you'd want me too
I would go to great lengths to figure out
what we have or could have

I want a chance to do this
How do I tell you how I feel?
Wouldn't you find it strange that a girl
who you only saw three or four times
has shared everything in her heart

I can't do that

For I am a turtle hiding in her shell
and I can't pretend to be brave,
if only I could come out this one time
I might get a chance to have something real.


Author notes

This is a real life situation...any suggestions?

Please tell me what you think...I need help with this situation!!!

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Comments


  • jacbgd2 gold member
    July 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Good write

    I like the message expressed in this piece of poetry!!!!
    I think it might read smoother without some of the periods.  When I read the last full stanza, I almost lost the rhythm of the write... This is only my option!!! Nothing is etched in stone in this art... Maybe also you could leave out some unnecessary small words!!! I love the piece, however... I suggest about this situation you walk right up to him and let him know how you feel.... at least, you'll be able to put this behind yourself one way or the other!!! love message, a little sad!!!
    I enjoyed this read!!


    • musiclover08
      July 12, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thank you for the advice. I did some editing and I think it definitely helped the flow of the poem.

      ~Musiclover


  • glamour guts
    July 2, 2007
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    First off good on you for the poem,and as for advice I would say just tell him how you feel,if you really feel you cant do that take it a slower way,build a friendship,geting closer on any terms can strengthen his feelings for you,then if you feel like it you can tell him and if he really is youre friend and he still isnt into yu he'l at least let you down gentle.


  • PortkeyToNowhere
    June 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Never knowing is always horrible I know. Tell him how you feel maybe a little bit at a time. Tell him that you like him and that you hope he likes you back. It's hard I know. I've recently been there myself. Even if he doesn't like you back you can always remain friends. Which you rather have not knowing or maybe theres a chance he likes you back hun. My suggestion is go after him. If he's worth you thinking this much about him he must be worth going after right? I wish you luck and I enjoyed your poem a lot. Real life situations are a good place for writers to get their inspiration.

    Hugs Nicole xoxoxoxo