Irodescent Irises.
Those penetrating pupils, want one more shot at what ever you got.
Because baby, last time just wasnt painful enough.
Isolation, and a new thing for Dictation, lets get down to the nitty gritty of it all.
A distant hallway, where one could think, reflect upon self infliction.
Cold. Cold like the way youre hand would strike at my face.
I am wishing, here, that I could stop being the epitome of all your cackled remarks.
[[But wishful thinking never got anyone anywhere.]]
So what's stoping me now.
Open doorways, and a long journey of contemplation, when the road turns to sand, do you still feel brave?
(I dont, I couldnt pick a path if I wanted to)
My breath still lingers in the fine distance between us.
& yet, you look as if Im a million miles away.
A Vortex?
no just your own belittling injustices.
I'll walk this hallway one last time, but I swear my feet won't touch the your ground.
Author notes
The photo on the main page.
My thoughts are a mess.
excuse the randomness.
A contest entry
- WARNING: Ingenius photographic inspiration may result in spontaneous combustion. by Vernal.
950 points, ended July 11, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Ugh, writers block...
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I was hoping this of gotten silver
-
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. The assonance towards the beginning was exquisite. I think this line:
"A distant hallway, where one could think, reflect upon self infliction"
--was one of my favourites. It really gives one the sense of the hallway and what it looks like ... creepy, dark or as if the walls are crying. An underlying sadness I feel is in this piece. Almost giving up, in a sense, I feel, the speaker is.
You picked some great words (a few spelling errors but nothing too major). Everything seemed to be put in its place well, effective phrasing I think is what your strong point was here. I think it's fabulous.
-
That was...pretty good. I liked it it was just a bit mm...confusing maybe.
-
My breath still lingers in the fine distance between us.
& yet, you look as if Im a million miles away.
A Vortex?
no just your own belittling injustices.
I'll walk this hallway one last time, but I swear my feet won't touch the your ground.
Aw this is kind of sad, then again a lot
of things make me sad lol. I love this bb!
<3
-
me gusta esto--
Open doorways, and a long journey of contemplation, when the road turns to sand, do you still feel brave?
random thoughts that seem to jumble themselves to spite you make everything prettier
-
ah i know how you feel hunnie; but i think you've done very well with this! i saw the picture and i see you've written it with a full expression.
ily!
♥
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
