I remember that one summer,
when we sat scrawling chalk hearts
onto one another.
Only to watch them melt
like crystal memories washed in reality.
We became frozen between syllables,
shimmering in silence of framed confusion
that hearts don’t lie and words
are easily spoken in vain.
Lost in dreams, hearts afire,
waltzing through echoes of sweated pheromones,
pledging accords in silken wishes,
that only wilted into deception.
[Another petal down means “she-loves-me-not”,
but what do flowers know?]
When eyes dance in this stranded
evolution, casting forbidden bursts of blue,
spearing hesitation, I could almost be
dreaming love to life, but fantasies
pose only questions.
As stars softly fade
in tainted remnants of yesterday,
and crystalline sunrise erupts
through this layered consciousness.
My answers are only in dreams.
Author notes
wilted into deception, tainted remnants of yesterday, crystalline sunrise, forbidden bursts of blue, waltzing through echoes, framed confusion, stranded evolution, dreaming love to life, layered consciousness, another petal down, hearts afire, frozen between syllables, in silken wishes, shimmering in silence, like crystal memories, lost in dreams, as stars softly fade, spoken in vain, only in dreams, hearts don't lie, when eyes dance, that one Summer
A contest entry
- For The Creative At Heart...... by poet2angels.
725 points, ended June 24, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POETRY OF HONORABLE MENTION ONLY by Three Doves.
300 points, ended September 5, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Very seamless and tear jerking! You taken a phrase bank and incorporated it well using some wonderful originality and made the phrases your own! Best of luck to you in the contest.
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What a fabulous take on the phrase bank prompt. Very creative use of phrases. Thank you for your entry into the contest and best wishes.
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Very nice. This is certainly one of my favorite phrase pieces thus far. Great seamless flow, weaving a strong poignant bouquet of sadness in longing. Thank you for your entry & Best wishes in the contest!
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I think this is a very awesome poem. I loved the beginning when you wrote about scrawling hearts. I enjoyed the part when you added about the flowers. It was sad but quite enjoyable to read the second stanza. I think this poem is AWESOME! And I loved the way you ended it. =]
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Oh wow. This was incredible...
'[Another petal down means “she-loves-me-not”,
but what do flowers know?]'
That had too be my favorite part.
I think this was wonderfully written.
You did an awesome job..[Sorry that sounded lame]
♥
Monica
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This is truly lovely! The only flaw I find in it - and I can easily see how you might disagree - lies within the line, "melt . . . like crystal memories." I know this is a small thing, but crystal doesn't melt well, see? Maybe, "cotton candy memories?" Or, "snowflake memories?" That said, I'm glad I got a chance to read it. I enjoyed it very much. Good job! - ocerus
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oh niceee
so well writen nice words toooD:: greatttt job
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Wow.... This was incredible, amazing, really. I loved it... It's, I don't know... it's like it's lustful, but more than that, I can't explain. I am at a loss for words, I am afraid.
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so amazing
Oh, Colin...This is so amazing...I love this and believe it is one of your best.
You see, dear, your muse never wanders for long...Just look at this piece of beautiful and touching poetry. I cannot even choose favorite lines, for I highlight the entire page...
Lynda
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"waltzing through echoes of sweated pheromones,"
"[Another petal down means “she-loves-me-not”,
but what do flowers know?]"
These are amazing.
Although you repeat crystal/crystaline, etc. and it sort of distracts from the poem.
However I love this.
Wonderful job! <3
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